Zhakkarns eyes flicked over to Sieh. Sieh smiled, though there was little humor in it. I told her youd say that. You do have one advocate among us, Yeine, however little you might believe it.
I said nothing. Zhakkarn was still glaring at me, and I knew better than to look away from a challenge. It was a pointless challenge on both sidesshe would have no choice but to tell me if I commanded her, and I would never earn her trust merely by my words. But my whole world had just been shattered, and I knew of no other way to learn what I needed to know.
My mother sold me to you, I said, mostly to Zhakkarn. She was desperate, and perhaps I would even make the same choice in her position, but she still did it and at the moment I am not feeling well-inclined towards any Arameri. You and your kind are gods; it doesnt surprise me that you would play with mortal lives like pieces in a game of nikkim. But I expect better of human beings.
You were made in our image, she said coldly.
An unpleasantly astute point.
There were times to fight, and times to retreat. Enefas soul inside me changed everything. It made the Arameri my enemies in a far more fundamental way, because Enefa had been Itempass enemy and they were his servants. Yet it did not automatically make the Enefadeh my allies. I was not actually Enefa, after all.
Sieh sighed to break the silence. You need to eat, he said, and got up. He left my bedroom; I heard the apartment door open and close.
I had slept nearly three days. My angry declaration that I would leave had been a bluff; my hands were shaking, and I did not trust my ability to walk far if I tried. I looked down at my unsteady hand and thought sourly that if the Enefadeh had infected me with a goddesss soul, the least they could have done was give me a stronger body in the process.
Sieh loves you, said Zhakkarn.
I put my hand on the bed so it would no longer shake. I know.
No, you dont. The sharpness in Zhakkarns voice made me look up. She was still angry, and I realized now that it had nothing to do with the alliance. She was angry about how Id treated Sieh.
What would you do, if you were me? I asked. Surrounded by secrets, with your life dependent on the answers?
I would do as you have done. That surprised me. I would use every possible advantage I had to gain as much information as I could, and I would not apologize for doing so. But I am not the mother Sieh has missed for so long.
I could tell already that I was going to become very, very sick of being compared to a goddess.
Neither am I, I snapped.
Sieh knows that. And yet he loves you. Zhakkarn sighed. He is a child.
Hes older than you, isnt he?
Age means nothing to us. What matters is staying true to ones nature. Sieh has devoted himself fully to the path of childhood. It is a difficult one.
I could imagine, though it made no sense to me. Enefas soul seemed to bring me no special insight into the tribulations of godhood.
What do you want me to do? I asked. I felt weary, though that mightve been the hunger. Shall I cuddle him to my breast when he comes back, and tell him everything will be all right? Should I do the same for you?
You should not hurt him again, she said, and vanished.
I gazed at the spot where she had stood for a long while. I was still staring at it when Sieh returned, setting a platter in front of me.
The servants here dont ask questions, he said. Safer that way. So Tvril didnt know youd been unwell until I showed up and asked for food. Hes tearing a strip out of the servants assigned to you right now.
The platter held a Darren feast. Maash paste and fish rolled in callena leaves, with a side of fire-toasted golden peppers. A shallow boat of serry relish and thin, crisp-curled slices of meat. In my land it wouldve been the heart of a particular species of sloth; this was probably beef. And a true treasure: a whole roasted gran banana. My favorite dessert, though how Tvril had found that out I would never know.
I picked up a leafroll, and my hand trembled with more than hunger.
Dekarta doesnt mean for you to win the contest, Sieh said softly. That isnt why hes brought you here. He intends for you to choose between Relad and Scimina.
I looked sharply at him, and recalled the conversation Id overheard between Relad and Scimina in the solarium. Was this what Scimina had meant? Choose between them?
The Arameri ritual of succession. To become the next head of the family, one of the heirs must transfer the master sigilthe mark Dekarta wearsfrom Dekartas brow to his own. Or her own. The master sigil outranks all the rest; whoever wears it has absolute power over us, the rest of the family, and the world.
The rest of the family? I frowned. They had hinted at this before, when they altered my own sigil. So thats it. What do the blood sigils really do? Allow Dekarta to read our thoughts? Burn out our brains if we refuse to obey?