Rather than join them, she paced the hall before following it to its end and ascending to the roof. The night was cold and the wind nonexistent. Snow soon covered her arms as she crossed the roof to gaze into the well-lit courtyard. Too tired to fight her tears anymore, she let them fall and stood shaking on the rooftop. "What're you doing up here?"
She turned in time to see Rhyn drop with an audible crunch from the air to the snowy roof. Her misery increased at the physical reminder that she hadn't figured out what to do about him yet.
"Thinking," she replied. "Dangerous."
"For you, maybe."
He drew near but stopped just out of arms' reach, alerted by her sharp tone. Embarrassed by her tears, she turned away. Mercifully, he said nothing, only stood close to her and stared into the same sky. Even at the safe distance, his body heat made her uncomfortably warm.
"You think we'll all survive this?" she asked at last.
"Probably not. As long as I take Kris down with me, I don't give a shit." She stifled a laugh, and he gave her a sidelong glance.
"I got time if you do," he added. "You can't fuck a man once when he's outta prison and never again."
"You're on probation," she reminded him. "And your time is running short." "Got it covered."
"Do you?" "More or less."
"I'm not convinced."
"Seems stupid for us to stand here when we both want each other so bad," he said. "I thought we were making progress. I was good last night."
"I feel like your life and Toby's and Hannah's would be better without me in it," she said and faced him.
"I think you're afraid. Your life is shitty and you have one good thing going for you. You're the only good part of my life. I assume it's the same for you."
She said nothing at his words, surprised as always by his backhanded compliments and tormented by the knowledge that she had to do something that would hurt them both. He stepped closer until they were toe-to-toe. She craned her head back to hold his silver gaze, a tremor of desire working its way through her.
Maybe tomorrow she'd break it off. She didn't want to lose him just yet.
"I thought I made your life more difficult," she said to keep from falling into a dangerous silence.