She stared at him, surprised. He was unfazed by the idea that traumatized her. Another thought occurred to her about her trip to the boutique earlier that day.
"What else have you read?" she asked cautiously.
"I haven't since yesterday morning. Trying to be good." "Thank you," she said, relieved.
"Kiss? Breakfast tea? It ain't easy being a good demon."
Her emotions felt too raw to deal with him: anger, desire, regret. She didn't have the strength this night to tell him to go.
"I can't, Rhyn. I have to check on Toby," she said and moved past him before she changed her mind. "I've failed miserably in my role as a foster mom, and he nearly died because of it." "What happened to Toby wasn't your fault." She paused at his words and turned to look at him again. "None of you knew about the demons in the forest, and you were right about what you said to Kris."
"I think I like it better when you're hard to get along with," she said with some frustration. "You're not making things easier."
"Life is anything but easy." For the first time that night, she realized he was disturbed about something. Rhyn gazed at her, considering. "I don't want to lose you, Katie."
She looked down. If she didn't find a way to push him away, she risked messing up both of their lives. She loved him, but she couldn't let him love her.
"Don't you have a checklist or something I can follow so I know what I'm supposed to be doing?" he asked.
"If there were a checklist for relationships, everyone would have a happy ending," she responded. "Do I feel whatever it is between us? Do I miss you even when I know I can call you and you'd come without question? Yes, but I don't trust you, Rhyn. It takes more than killing things, and I'm done being chewed on, mauled, and treated like crap by you Immortal idiots."
He said nothing.
"What we have is not enough for me. Do you get that?" she asked.
"What happened between last night and tonight?" His gaze had turned predatory again. "Nothing. I just realized I can't be with someone I can't rely on, Rhyn." Her words sounded cheap, even to her ears. She turned and all but fled the rooftop, cursing herself for her weakness and the tears in her eyes.