Darian's thoughts grew darker as he thought again of Jenn. He may never have the chance to hold his own child. He'd never take another mate. He let himself admit a thought he didn't want to face: that if Xander had brought him back and not Jenn, there might've been a reason.
"Bianca, can I leave you here with them?" he asked, restless. "I need to go."
"Yes, of course." The Healer's voice radiated happiness that made Darian sink lower into the black thoughts in his mind.
He left them, Traveling to the portal in the desert. The sun had set, and the bright moon made the sand glow like snow. He crouched next to the circle Jenn had drawn around the portal. He reached forward and rested his hand where the gateway had been. His hand didn't sink into another world. It remained on the sand.
He sat back and stared at the portal listlessly, knowing the immortal world was no more. He couldn't remember what happened, only that one of his episodes had come on when he was in the pillar of magic. He didn't know how Yully and Charles made it back or if Jenn had been with them. He'd blacked out then, waking in his room.
Furious at his own weakness, Darian lay back and stared at the sky. His magic danced around him, bending starlight and night into a subtle light show. He watched it. If Jenn escaped, she'd have contacted him by now. He'd felt her surrender in their final kiss. She wouldn't run from him again. Of all the magic he contained, none of it would bring her back.
He'd lost her as soon as he finally won her, all because he couldn't control the spells he still suffered from his years in slavery. He'd saved the world and lost his partner.
Darian watched the sky turn from dark to dawn, unconcerned with the chilly desert morning. Only when the sun peeked over the horizon did he decide to leave, preferring a dark place where he could dwell with his dark thoughts. He checked the portal one last time then stood, turning away. His heart felt like a brick in his stomach.
"Hey." Damian stood a few feet away.
"Hey, little brother. Glad to see you're not a Popsicle anymore."
"Even Bianca can't get rid of the headache. I don't know what possessed them to freeze us."
"I'll kick their asses. Don't worry," Darian assured him. "I saw Adrian."
"That's, ah … wow. Wasn't expecting that." Damian said then grinned. "I've got a lot to learn about being a dad."