"You were a smoker? I can't remember you smoking."
"I hadn't smoked for very long. During my last year with Greg, when I started working. Mainly stress-related, I suppose."
"Oh," Josh said, staring into his glass of apple juice. He was silent for a moment. "So… you guys broke up?"
"Yeah, I broke up with him. I couldn't go on."
"And now? Are you dating someone else?"
What a strange sensation, discussing her love life with him. Last time she had seen Josh, he'd just been a young boy. She cleared her throat and quickly shook her head. "No, actually. I'm fine on my own. You know, a bit of me-time. I need freedom."
In the silence that followed, she cringed. In hindsight, that didn't come out the way she wanted. In fact, she positively sounded like she wasn't interested in dating for the next ten years. All she needed was a T-shirt saying 'Don't Ask Me Out'.
"You know, you've always needed freedom," Josh suddenly said warmly. "You're like a butterfly. Beautiful, fragile, hard to catch."
Hannah blinked. What the heck was she supposed to say to that?
Fortunately, Ben saved her from another awkward silence. "Are you exploring your Navajo background again, Josh? White Americans don't believe in totem animals, FYI."
The conversation continued, mainly between Ben and Josh. Hannah decided to play wallflower for the rest of the evening, so she wouldn't blurt out more stupid remarks or blush again when Josh teased her. It helped to calm her nerves, but it didn't stop her from getting more and more interested in Josh. He really fascinated her. The longer she sat at the table with him, the less she could imagine that he wasn't even an adult yet. He told them about his plans to start his studies after the summer to become a teacher, his ambition to offer young people on the reservation more job opportunities, the lessons in Navajo history he would teach them - heck, he already had more plans now than some of her colleagues at school would have in a lifetime.
"I'll pick you up in my car tomorrow," Josh told Ben after their trout dinner. "We should go fishing. Grilling your own fish is so much better."
"Do you have your own car?" Hannah asked in surprise, temporarily forgetting she wanted to stay out of the conversation.
"Yeah, a Mustang. I got it from my family when I passed driver's ed."