"N…no," she whispered.
"Last night you were ready to trust me. What happened?"
Deidre thought back, struggling to remember what human-Deidre felt, if not the events. Gabriel had held her on the beach. They'd sat for hours, until human-Deidre's distress faded and turned first to disbelief then hope then resolve. It was the same sequence Deidre went through before making the private deal with the demon lord, the one that resulted in her reincarnation and condemned human-Deidre to become the mate of the Dark One.
"I knew Darkyn could give me a second chance with you," she said. "Clean slate."
"Everything would be different - better, perfect - overnight."
"Yes."
"Did it work?"
"I don't know."
"I wouldn't be walking out right now if it did."
She sighed. Her eyes grew blurry, and hot wetness slid down her cheeks. Deidre touched them, surprised to find they were tears. She'd never cried as a goddess. Ever. Why was she crying? There were too many emotions for her to identify them, but one of them - or all of them? - caused the tears. Frustrated, she realized she wasn't able to control whatever it was.
Gabriel left. The door closed behind him. Her Gabriel was gone.
The pain settling into her was of a different kind. It had no physical source, but it hurt her physically nonetheless. She was hardly able to draw a deep breath through her tight chest. A new emotion formed. It felt much like dread. She rested back on the bed and cried.
The tears stopped of their own accord after a while, and the calm of her mind brought back her focus.
She gave up her power, her domain, and her entire life for this opportunity. She didn't factor Gabriel's transition into Death into the equation. She didn't factor her transition into a human, either. The overload of emotions, the inability to read Gabriel's mind to find out what he thought, so she knew what to say or do.
How did she win him, if she had to guess what he was thinking? How did she win him, if she wasn't able to control the human feelings?
Trust? As a goddess, she had no need for those around her to trust her. They feared her, and this was what kept them in check.
Gabriel didn't trust her. This made her hurt more. After all their years together, he didn't trust that she would do what she had to in order for them to be together.