It was the fourth day of their seven-day deal. She'd gone from hopeful to devastated in the course of the first two days. Right now, she felt like she was on the verge of an important breakthrough with Gabriel. One that would result in her capturing Gabriel's heart and keeping her own soul.
"Because every time I start to love you, you betray me," he said at last.
Deidre flinched.
"I want this time to be different. I know you have a secret and made deals with the Dark One. I'm holding my breath, hoping none of that shit comes back to bite me," he continued. "I guess a better answer is that I need time to heal before I can trust myself to love you, Deidre."
He was right without knowing it. She had no way of guaranteeing him that something she'd done wouldn't return to make them both miserable.
Like the deal she made out of emotion with Darkyn's mate. In three days, Darkyn may come on behalf of his mate to collect by any means necessary. Darkyn had been correct about the human she dumped in Hell. Human-Deidre had no reason whatsoever not to give Darkyn the soul he snatched when the deal was up.
If Gabriel didn't fall in love with Deidre in three days, he would be betrayed once more. This time, permanently.
For the first time in her life, Deidre didn't know what to do.
"I did mean it, Gabriel," she said in a hushed voice. "I have always loved you."
"I know."
"I never meant to hurt you. Ever. I never knew I was."
"Oh you knew you were fucking me up," he replied.
"But I didn't know what that felt like," she said.
"You do now?"
"Yes," she said, tears in her eyes. "It's like your soul is being torn in two."
"Yeah, it is."
"How did you bear it for so long?"
"Because I did love you, Deidre," he responded. "Until you pushed me away the final time. Until you took an innocent human and condemned her to near-death for your selfishness. Katie didn't deserve to have you mess with her like you did."
She listened, not wanting to cry or acknowledge the level of pain she put him through for so long. She remembered talk to Rhyn's mate, Katie, in the underworld, trying to understand what it was to love from a human standpoint.
"You made me choose between you and doing what was right in the underworld when I saved Katie and her daughter," he continued. "I realized then you'd never understand or accept me for who I was. You wanted to break me, Deidre, by turning me against everything I was."