"I cannot watch you live half a life, Emily."
I shook my head. "What do you mean?"
"Either you will find another man in time-."
"I won't. There's no one else for me." Stupid, stupid ghost. How could he think that?
"Or you will spend your remaining years waiting to join me. That is not the sort of life you deserve."
I sat back on my haunches. "But if you are here with me, the waiting won't be so terrible." Except that I would grow old and he would not. Of course it would be easier for me, looking at the handsome young man everyday, but for him to see the woman he'd stayed for turn into an old hag...I couldn't imagine how distressing that would be.
"And how long can you wait?" he asked, challenging now. "How many years? You would not have children, not have a family of your own-."
"I would have you."
"Is that enough?" He shook his head and buried his face in his hands.
I went to him and drew his hands away. "Yes. It is." I traced the contours of his cheeks with my fingertip, down to his lips. They were still full and soft from when he'd kissed me.
"I cannot allow you to do it," he said, taking my wrists and gently drawing my hands away. "I cannot allow you to give up on living for me."
"I'm not asking you to allow it."
"You are. And what if..." He turned his face to the side and shook his head.
"What?"
He closed his eyes and the dark lashes cast long shadows on his high cheekbones. "What if I grow weary of watching you wait?"
What did he mean? That he would grow tired of me in years to come? I could never grow tired of him. Never.
And yet he was not the one who'd turn gray-haired or wrinkly, his body would not sag and his eyesight or hearing fail him. That would be my fate alone. Of course he wouldn't want to remain here and watch me age. I really couldn't blame him for it either.
And yet it hurt knowing his love for me wasn't strong enough to survive the ravages of time.
I let go of his hands and as if that was a signal, he opened his eyes and faced me.
"I'm not strong enough, Emily."
"Not strong enough?" Didn't he mean not in love with me enough to watch me age?
"It doesn't matter," he said and rubbed both hands through his hair. "I don't want to discuss it. All that matters is that you were right before. I must cross over."