"Oh, so you want me to stay this time?" she returned.
He hesitated.
She was quiet, waiting for him to speak. When he didn't, she did. "It doesn't matter. I may not have a choice when this is over."
"You always have a choice."
"You sound like Xander."
He didn't respond. Xander had taught him this, and he was surprised every time he realized how true it really was.
"I won't survive this if Brandon dies." Ashley's voice was hushed and tight.
"He won't," Jonny replied. "I promise you, Ash. I won't let him die."
"I want to believe you but you're … you."
Jonny had spent years building a wall around his emotions but he felt it again the moment the words left her mouth. Pain. The kind that never really healed. The remembrance of everything he'd lost when he chose to save his sister's life six years before.
He lifted her chin and met her gaze. "Yeah. That's why I'll win," he said. "That's why you're better off with the Guardians and why I've done everything I can to convince you not to love me. Do you really understand what I am, Ashley? What I'm capable of?"
She studied him, troubled. "I don't think it matters, Jonny. I don't think it ever did."
"It should."
"No." She lifted her chin out of his grasp. "It shouldn't because I don't care. You're right. Common sense says I belong with the Guardians. Common sense says loving you is what fucked up my life to start with. Common sense says Brandon is probably already dead after my confrontation with Valon." Her voice broke. She cleared her throat. "I say fuck common sense, Jonny. I don't care how wrong it is or how stupid you think I am. I am going to do whatever it takes to save you both from Valon because to me, there is no other choice. So don't you dare try to tell me there is!" Tears sparkled in her eyes. "That's what you do when you love someone. You fight for them."
Ashley ripped away from him and slammed the door open.
It was almost impossible for him to isolate and repress his feelings when it came to her. What started as a trickle of emotion upon their first meeting was turning into a torrent he struggled not to let influence his actions and decisions. The team of Guardians was going to be a boon, but he was reconsidering the plan he'd created for tonight. His goal had been to get the confrontation over with Valon. Ashley was right - even at half capacity, she was still a force to be reckoned with.