"I can't … control …" He squeezed his eyes closed, and his grip on her loosened. "Go. Now." Jonny sagged.
"No," she said firmly. "I won't leave you like this, Jonny. I won't let you lie here and die. We need you to fight Valon, and to do that, you need to feed. If you won't do it for you, do it for me. Look." She held out her violently trembling hands. "If you don't stop this episode, it might kill me. Trust me - this one is going to be bad."
He said nothing. His body shuddered under his labored breathing, and he shook from weakness. He was a wounded animal fighting the urge to eat.
She touched the drops of blood on her neck. Her heart beating against her breast, she touched the drops of blood to his lips and prayed he didn't kill her.
"No!" He pushed her away, or tried to. He was too weak. "I might kill you, Ash."
"You're the only one who can make sure Valon never hurts Brandon or my family again!" She shoved his hands down and touched his lips again.
Jonny shuddered. He caught her wrist in a tight grip, and she sensed he was fighting an internal battle. He didn't want to hurt her, but she wasn't about to give him a choice. He needed blood to heal, and he needed to heal to face Valon.
"Please, Jonny," she said more quietly. "I'm telling you to risk it to save those I love. I need your help, too." She started to sag, unable to fend off the looming episode any longer.
Jonny touched her again, this time more gently. He sat up and drew her against him, his eyes brilliant in the night, his focus on her. "This is why I didn't want you near me. I'm a monster."
"I know," she said. "But it's kind of a turn on," she joked weakly.
"You trust me?" He bent his head and nuzzled her neck, breathing in her scent with a tremble.
"It doesn't matter."
The pause before he bit her was always one of pure misery for her. This time it was worse. This time she suspected he wasn't going to be able to control himself.
"I'm sorry for hurting you," he whispered. He touched her neck with one hand and wrapped the other arm around her. His scent and heat melted her fear. She rested her temple on his shoulder.
"It's okay," she murmured.
"You still hate me?"
She gazed at his profile framed against the stars. He was gripping her more tightly, and his feral expression did little to assure her she'd live through this. "Yeah."