"Cannot? In God's name, why?"
She choked, yet the voice did not wholly fail her.
"Because I have no right. I--I am the wife of another."
The head drooped lower, the hair shadowing the face, and Winston, his
lips set and white, stared at her, scarcely comprehending. A moment
later he sprang to his feet, one hand pressed across his eyes, slowly
grasping the full measure of her confession.
"The wife of another!" he burst forth, his voice shaking. "Great God!
You? What other? Farnham?"
The bowed head sank yet lower, as though in mute answer, and his ears
caught the echo of a single muffled sob. Suddenly she glanced up at
him, and then rose unsteadily to her feet clinging to the back of the
chair for support.
"Mr. Winston," her voice strengthening with each word spoken, "it hurts
me to realize that you feel so deeply. I--I wish I might bear the
burden of this mistake all alone. But I cannot stand your contempt, or
have you believe me wholly heartless, altogether unworthy. We--we must
part, now and forever; there is no other honorable way. I tried so
hard to compel you to leave me before; I accepted that engagement at
the Gayety, trusting such an act would disgust you with me. I am not
to blame for this; truly, I am not--no woman could have fought against
Fate more faithfully; only--only I couldn't find sufficient courage to
confess to you the whole truth. Perhaps I might have done so at first;
but it was too late before I learned the necessity, and then my heart
failed me. There was another reason I need not mention now, why I
hesitated, why such a course became doubly hard. But I am going to
tell you it all now, for--for I wish you to go away at least respecting
my womanhood."
He made no reply, no comment, and the girl dropped her questioning eyes
to the floor.
"You asked me if I had ever loved him," she continued, speaking more
slowly, "and I told you no. That was the truth as I realize it now,
although there was a time when the man fascinated, bewildered me, as I
imagine the snake fascinates a bird. I have learned since something of
what love truly is, and can comprehend that my earlier feeling toward
him was counterfeit, a mere bit of dross. Be patient, please, while I
tell you how it all happened. It--it is a hard task, yet, perhaps, you
may think better of me from a knowledge of the whole truth. I am a
Chicago girl. There are reasons why I shall not mention my family
name, and it is unnecessary; but my parents are wealthy and of good
position. All my earlier education was acquired through private
tutors; so that beyond my little, narrow circle of a world--fashionable
and restricted--all of real life remained unknown, unexplored, until
the necessity for a wider development caused my being sent to a
well-known boarding-school for girls in the East. I think now the
choice made was unfortunate. The school being situated close to a
large city, and the discipline extremely lax, temptation which I was
not in any way fitted to resist surrounded me from the day of entrance.
In a fashionable drawing-room, in the home of my mother's friends, I
first became acquainted with Mr. Farnham."