Cabin Fever - Page 50/118

While they waited for the program they talked in low tones, a mumble of

commonplaces. Bud forgot for the moment his distaste for such places,

and let himself slip easily back into the old thought channels, the

old habits of relaxation after a day's work was done. He laughed at

the one-reel comedy that had for its climax a chase of housemaids,

policemen, and outraged fruit vendors after a well-meaning but

unfortunate lover. He saw the lover pulled ignominiously out of a duck

pond and soused relentlessly into a watering trough, and laughed with

Frank and called it some picture.

He eyed a succession of "current events" long since gone stale out

where the world moved swifter than here in the mountains, and he felt

as though he had come once more into close touch with life. All the dull

months he had spent with Cash and the burros dwarfed into a pointless,

irrelevant incident of his life. He felt that he ought to be out in the

world, doing bigger things than hunting gold that somehow always

refused at the last minute to be found. He stirred restlessly. He was

free--there was nothing to hold him if he wanted to go. The war--he

believed he would go over and take a hand. He could drive an ambulance

or a truck-Current Events, however, came abruptly to an end; and presently

Bud's vagrant, half-formed desire for achievement merged into biting

recollections. Here was a love drama, three reels of it. At first Bud

watched it with only a vague, disquieting sense of familiarity. Then

abruptly he recalled too vividly the time and circumstance of his first

sight of the picture. It was in San Jose, at the Liberty. He and Marie

had been married two days, and were living in that glamorous world of

the honeymoon, so poignantly sweet, so marvelous--and so fleeting. He

had whispered that the girl looked like her, and she had leaned heavily

against his shoulder. In the dusk of lowered lights their hands had

groped and found each other, and clung.

The girl did look like Marie. When she turned her head with that little

tilt of the chin, when she smiled, she was like Marie. Bud leaned

forward, staring, his brows drawn together, breathing the short, quick

breaths of emotion focussed upon one object, excluding all else. Once,

when Frank moved his body a little in the next seat, Bud's hand went out

that way involuntarily. The touch of Frank's rough coat sleeve recalled

him brutally, so that he drew away with a wincing movement as though he

bad been hurt.

All those months in the desert; all those months of the slow journeying

northward; all the fought battles with memory, when he thought that he

had won--all gone for nothing, their slow anodyne serving but to sharpen

now the bite of merciless remembering. His hand shook upon his knee.

Small beads of moisture oozed out upon his forehead. He sat stunned

before the amazing revelation of how little time and distance had done

to heal his hurt.