"The consequence of his action was that I got a ship," said the other.
"That could not do much harm," he added with a laugh which argued a
probably unconscious contempt of general ideas.
But Marlow was not put off. He was patient and reflective. He had been
at sea many years and I verily believe he liked sea-life because upon the
whole it is favourable to reflection. I am speaking of the now nearly
vanished sea-life under sail. To those who may be surprised at the
statement I will point out that this life secured for the mind of him who
embraced it the inestimable advantages of solitude and silence. Marlow
had the habit of pursuing general ideas in a peculiar manner, between
jest and earnest.
"Oh, I wouldn't suggest," he said, "that your namesake Mr. Powell, the
Shipping Master, had done you much harm. Such was hardly his intention.
And even if it had been he would not have had the power. He was but a
man, and the incapacity to achieve anything distinctly good or evil is
inherent in our earthly condition. Mediocrity is our mark. And perhaps
it's just as well, since, for the most part, we cannot be certain of the
effect of our actions."
"I don't know about the effect," the other stood up to Marlow manfully.
"What effect did you expect anyhow? I tell you he did something
uncommonly kind."
"He did what he could," Marlow retorted gently, "and on his own showing
that was not a very great deal. I cannot help thinking that there was
some malice in the way he seized the opportunity to serve you. He
managed to make you uncomfortable. You wanted to go to sea, but he
jumped at the chance of accommodating your desire with a vengeance. I am
inclined to think your cheek alarmed him. And this was an excellent
occasion to suppress you altogether. For if you accepted he was relieved
of you with every appearance of humanity, and if you made objections
(after requesting his assistance, mind you) it was open to him to drop
you as a sort of impostor. You might have had to decline that berth for
some very valid reason. From sheer necessity perhaps. The notice was
too uncommonly short. But under the circumstances you'd have covered
yourself with ignominy."
Our new friend knocked the ashes out of his pipe.
"Quite a mistake," he said. "I am not of the declining sort, though I'll
admit it was something like telling a man that you would like a bath and
in consequence being instantly knocked overboard to sink or swim with
your clothes on. However, I didn't feel as if I were in deep water at
first. I left the shipping office quietly and for a time strolled along
the street as easy as if I had a week before me to fit myself out. But
by and by I reflected that the notice was even shorter than it looked.
The afternoon was well advanced; I had some things to get, a lot of small
matters to attend to, one or two persons to see. One of them was an aunt
of mine, my only relation, who quarrelled with poor father as long as he
lived about some silly matter that had neither right nor wrong to it. She
left her money to me when she died. I used always to go and see her for
decency's sake. I had so much to do before night that I didn't know
where to begin. I felt inclined to sit down on the kerb and hold my head
in my hands. It was as if an engine had been started going under my
skull. Finally I sat down in the first cab that came along and it was a
hard matter to keep on sitting there I can tell you, while we rolled up
and down the streets, pulling up here and there, the parcels accumulating
round me and the engine in my head gathering more way every minute. The
composure of the people on the pavements was provoking to a degree, and
as to the people in shops, they were benumbed, more than half
frozen--imbecile. Funny how it affects you to be in a peculiar state of
mind: everybody that does not act up to your excitement seems so
confoundedly unfriendly. And my state of mind what with the hurry, the
worry and a growing exultation was peculiar enough. That engine in my
head went round at its top speed hour after hour till eleven at about at
night it let up on me suddenly at the entrance to the Dock before large
iron gates in a dead wall."