She stopped short, then impulsively: "Truth will out, Mr. Marlow."
"Yes," I said.
She went on musingly.
"Sorrow and happiness were mingled at first like darkness and light. For
months I lived in a dusk of feelings. But it was quiet. It was warm
. . . "
Again she paused, then going back in her thoughts. "No! There was no
harm in that letter. It was simply foolish. What did I know of life
then? Nothing. But Mrs. Fyne ought to have known better. She wrote a
letter to her brother, a little later. Years afterwards Roderick allowed
me to glance at it. I found in it this sentence: 'For years I tried to
make a friend of that girl; but I warn you once more that she has the
nature of a heartless adventuress . . . ' Adventuress!" repeated Flora
slowly. "So be it. I have had a fine adventure."
"It was fine, then," I said interested.
"The finest in the world! Only think! I loved and I was loved,
untroubled, at peace, without remorse, without fear. All the world, all
life were transformed for me. And how much I have seen! How good people
were to me! Roderick was so much liked everywhere. Yes, I have known
kindness and safety. The most familiar things appeared lighted up with a
new light, clothed with a loveliness I had never suspected. The sea
itself! . . . You are a sailor. You have lived your life on it. But do
you know how beautiful it is, how strong, how charming, how friendly, how
mighty . . . "
I listened amazed and touched. She was silent only a little while.
"It was too good to last. But nothing can rob me of it now . . . Don't
think that I repine. I am not even sad now. Yes, I have been happy. But
I remember also the time when I was unhappy beyond endurance, beyond
desperation. Yes. You remember that. And later on, too. There was a
time on board the Ferndale when the only moments of relief I knew were
when I made Mr. Powell talk to me a little on the poop. You like
him?--Don't you?"
"Excellent fellow," I said warmly. "You see him often?"
"Of course. I hardly know another soul in the world. I am alone. And
he has plenty of time on his hands. His aunt died a few years ago. He's
doing nothing, I believe."
"He is fond of the sea," I remarked. "He loves it."
"He seems to have given it up," she murmured.