"If I be I as I suppose I be," he replied, giving her his arm again, and
as they turned towards the conservatory, adding, "Many such things have
happened, and I did not know whether you meant this."
"That was the reason you made so light of it."
"What, because I thought it was somebody else?"
"No, the contrary reason; but I cannot understand why you let me go on
without telling me."
"I never interfere when a story is so perfect in itself."
"But is my story perfect in itself?" said Rachel, "or is it the
contrary?"
"No one knows less of the particulars than I do," he answered. "I think
your version was that it was an hospital tent that the shell came into.
It was not that, but a bungalow, which was supposed to be out of range.
It stood on a bit of a slope, and I thought I should have been able to
kick the shell down before it had time to do mischief."
"But you picked it up, and took it to the door--I mean, did you?" said
Rachel, who was beginning to discover that she must ask Alick Keith
a direct question, if she wished to get an answer, and she received a
gesture of assent.
"I was very blind," she said, humbly, "and now I have gone and insisted
to poor Emily Grey that you never did any such thing."
"Thank you," he said; "it was the greatest kindness you could do me."
"Ah! your sister said you had the greatest dislike to hero worship."
"A natural sense of humbug," he said. "I don't know why they gave me
this," he added, touching his cross, "unless it was that one of the
party in the bungalow had a turn for glorifying whatever happened to
himself. Plenty of more really gallant things happened every day, and
were never heard of, and I, who absolutely saw next to nothing of the
campaign, have little right to be decorated."
"Ah!" said Rachel, thoughtfully, "I have always wondered whether one
would be happier for having accomplished an act of heroism."
"I do not know," said Alick, thoughtfully; then, as Rachel looked
up with a smile of amazement, "Oh, you mean this; but it was mere
self-preservation. I could hardly even have bolted, for I was laid up
with fever, and was very shaky on my legs."
"I suppose, however," said Rachel, "that the vision of one's life in
entering the army would be to win that sort of distinction, and so
young."
"Win it as some have done," said Alick, "and deserve what is far better
worth than distinction. That may be the dream, but, after all, it is
the discipline and constant duty that make the soldier, and are far more
really valuable than exceptional doings."