'So much worse! But still,' he added, 'speak as you may, my Amy, I cannot, must not, feel that I have a right to think of you as my own, till you have heard all. You ought to know what my temper is before you risk yourself in its power. Amy, my first thought towards Philip was nothing short of murder.'
She raised her eyes, and saw how far entirely he meant what he said.
'The first--not the second,' she murmured.
'Yes, the second--the third. There was a moment when I could have given my soul for my revenge!'
'Only a moment!'
'Only a moment, thank Heaven! and I have not done quite so badly since. I hope I have not suffered quite in vain; but if that shock could overthrow all my wonted guards, it might, though I pray Heaven it may not, it might happen again.'
'I think you conquered yourself then, and that you will again,' said Amy.
'And suppose I was ever to be mad enough to be angry with you?'
Amy smiled outright here. 'Of course, I should deserve it; but I think the trouble would be the comforting you afterwards. Mamma said'--she added, after a long silence, during which Guy's feeling would not let him speak--'mamma said, and I think, that you are much safer and better with such a quick temper as yours, because you are always struggling and fighting with it, on the real true religious ground, than a person more even tempered by nature, but not so much in earnest in doing right.'
'Yes, if I did not believe myself to be in earnest about that, I could never dare to speak to you at all.'
'We will help each other,' said Amy; 'you have always helped me, long before we knew we cared for each other!'
'And, Amy, if you knew how the thought of you helped me last winter, even when I thought I had forfeited you for ever.'
Their talk only ceased when, at one o'clock, Mrs. Edmonstone, who had pronounced in the dressing-room that three hours was enough for them at once, came in, and asked Guy to go and help to carry Charles down-stairs.
He went, and Amy nestled up to her mother, raising her face to be kissed.
'It is very nice!' she whispered; and then arranged her brother's sofa, as she heard his progress down-stairs beginning. He was so light and thin as to be very easily carried, and was brought in between Guy and one of the servants. When he was settled on the sofa, he began thus,--'There was a grand opportunity lost last winter. I was continually rehearsing the scene, and thinking what waste it was to go through such a variety of torture without the dignity of danger. If I could but have got up ever so small an alarm, I would have conjured my father to send for Guy, entreated pathetically that the reconciliation might be effected, and have drawn my last breath clasping their hands, thus! The curtain falls!'