All along, as his libido craved for sex, Sathyam was shy at courting women. However, with no need to be dashing with the whores and having found them willing on their own, he felt vindicated in the brothels he came to frequent. So, as he became closer to them, he moved away from his wife, and the more he felt comfortable with the Kanthas, his discomfort with Roopa increased even more. Of course, it had as much to do with the psyche of the sex workers as with the state of his mind.
Women in prostitution tend to perceive the male as the root cause of their fall. And the rudeness of those who frequent them further deepens their antipathy towards men. Besides, having lost their inhibitions through constant exposure, the whores become coarse to settle scores even with those they solicit. But with a considerate man, the innate woman in them comes alive, inducing them to shower themselves on him. It is thus they make such feel at home even in their brothels.
When, Roopa had reasons to suspect his philandering, she was more surprised than shocked. In time, however, as his brothel mania became a menace, she felt humiliated that he should prefer harlots to her. At length, having been disgusted with him, she thought of confronting him.
‘He would only confirm it, demeaning me all the more, wouldn’t he?’ she felt on second thoughts, ‘Maybe, it’s my fault for having driven him into alien arms. Oh, how I gave him a cold bed, in spite of his passion for me. Thus, having been uncaring all along, why am I so cut up with him now? Is it a case of wounded vanity then? No, it’s not so. But isn’t the very thought that he sleeps with all and sundry that’s bothersome. I’m simply unable to bring myself to take him. That’s all there’s to it.’
‘But what could I possibly do now?’ she began to deliberate coolly. ‘Well, precious little, so it seems. In one-way, it’s a welcome development, isn’t it? I needn’t feel guilty when I make it with Raja in the end. It’s as though the last vein of his moral rein on my heart got sapped. Haven’t I always seen love as the only justification for infidelity? And if required, even that qualification could be waived now for adultery. Why am I not a free bird now, though caged in marriage?’
Experiencing an indescribable relief at that thought, she felt that she couldn’t care less, but her philosophic indifference couldn’t come in handy in her daily regimen. Moreover, finding her situation humiliating, she continued to be confounded no end.