“Who gave you that impression?” she said in embarrassment, though she didn’t appear surprised. Her manner even suggested that she expected him to say that.
“I can see that you’re just going through the motions,” he said dryly.
“I’m a little moody, that’s all,” she tried to be evasive, but seemed to be on the defensive.
“But not so with Sandhya, I suppose,” he sounded argumentative. “I could see that you’re quite lively with her.”
‘Oh, isn’t she the only joy of my life?’ she thought but didn’t reply.
“Are you not angry with me for refusing?”
“Maybe, you have your reasons, don’t you?” she said nonchalantly, and opened her eyes as if to grasp his feelings.
“Don’t say that, it hurts,” he said, and went into a winding explanation of his helplessness.
“I would never disappoint you all my life, I swear upon my love,” he tried to make her reconcile to the situation. He bared his heart to let her feel the love he bore for her. As she didn’t hold him high in her esteem any way, his love too didn’t mean much to her. Nevertheless, she was pleased at being adored.
Shortly thereafter, the train reached Samalkot to be shunted to the Godavari Express, expected from Visakhapatnam, and finding her still morose, Sathyam kept wondering what was amiss in their marriage.
“Are you in love with someone?” he asked her as the train moved out of the station at length.
“You should’ve enquired all about me before marriage,” she said curtly and added. “Even now, you could do all your spying and clear your doubts.”
“I’m sorry,” he sounded apologetic. “Not that I suspect any but you seem so disinterested.”
“Thanks,” she sounded uncharacteristically sarcastic.
He then withdrew into a shell in the manner of a person who commits an indiscretion. Seeing him sulk, she felt sorry for him. ‘Am I not being rude to him?’ she thought. When her conscience confirmed in the affirmative, her heart was filled with pity for him.
‘After all, it’s not his fault that he isn’t smart,’ she reasoned. ‘Didn’t I sense his shortcomings in the first meeting itself? Well, I knew from the beginning what was in the offing for me. Yet, I married him out of my own compulsions, didn’t I? Oh, why should I be cut up with him for no fault of his?’
‘I’m at fault for being cool towards him,’ she thought in time. ‘Moreover, he might have his own expectations from his wife and married life. Didn’t I nurse my own dreams though they turned sour in the end? Do I have the right to mar his life as his wife? Had I declined, who knows, he would have got a wife who could have adored him and made him happy all his life!’