"I should have told her!" interrupted Hannah vehemently. "I should not
have borne her evil charges for one moment in silence! I should have
soon let her know who and what I was! I should have taken possession of
my rightful place then and there! I should have rung a bell and sent for
Mr. Herman Brudenell and had it out with the old lady once for all!"
"Hannah, I could not! my tongue was tied by my promise, and besides--"
"It was not tied!" again dashed in the elder sister, whose unusual
vehemence of mood seemed to require her to do all the talking herself.
"Herman Brudenell--he is a generous fellow with all his
faults!--released both you and myself from our promise, and told us at
any time when we should feel that the marriage ought not any longer to
be kept secret it might be divulged. You should have told her!"
"What! and raised a storm there between mother and son when both those
high spirits would have become so inflamed that they would have said
things to each other that neither could ever forgive? What! cause a
rupture between them that never could be closed? No, indeed, Hannah!
Burned and shriveled up as I was with shame in the glare of that lady's
scornful look, I would not save myself at such a cost to him and--to
her. For though you mayn't believe me, Hannah, I love that lady! I do in
spite of her scorn! She is my husband's mother; I love her as I should
have loved my own. And, oh, while she was scorching me up with her
scornful looks and words, how I did long to show her that I was not the
unworthy creature she deemed me, but a poor, honest, loving girl, who
adored both her and her son, and who would, for the love I bore them--"
"Die, if necessary, I suppose! That is just about what foolish lovers
promise to do for each other," said the elder sister, impatiently.
"Well, I would, Hannah; though that is not what I meant to say; I meant
that for the love I bore them I would so strive to improve in every
respect that I should at last lift myself to their level and be worthy
of them!"
"Humph! and you can rest under this ban of reproach!"
"No, not rest, Hannah! no one can rest in fire! and reproach is fire to
me! but I can bear it, knowing it to be undeserved! For, Hannah, even
when I stood shriveling in the blaze of that lady's presence, the
feeling of innocence, deep in my heart, kept me from death! for I think,
Hannah, if I had deserved her reproaches I should have dropped,
blackened, at her feet! Dear sister, I am very sorry I told you anything
about it. Only I have never kept anything from you, and so the force of
habit and my own swelling heart that overflowed with trouble made me do
it. Be patient now, Hannah! Say nothing to my dear husband of this. In
two days the lady and her daughters will be in Washington. Herman will
take us home, acknowledge me and write to his mother. There will then be
no outbreak; both will command their tempers better when they are apart!
And there will be nothing said or done that need make an irreparable
breach between the mother and son, or between her and myself. Promise
me, Hannah, that you will say nothing to Herman about it to-morrow!"