She pouted, but agreed, and I drew her to the door and saw her into the
corridor, and even followed her to the front door. She was chatting all
the time. I did not answer. I was speechless with rage, and could have
sworn aloud, when at last I heard the door shut between us, then I
strode back into my room, praying that Alathea had been unaware of my
visitor.
Nemesis, on one's wedding day!
I waited until five and then went back into the sitting-room to my
chair, and Antoine brought in the tea, and turned on the lights, and a
moment or two afterwards Alathea came in. Her eyes were stony, and as
she advanced up the room she sniffed the air disgustedly, her fine
nostrils quivering. Suzette's pungent perfume was no doubt still present
to one coming from outside!
Hauteur, contempt and disgust, expressed themselves in my little
darling's blue eyes. There was nothing to be said--qui s'excuse
s'accuse--!
She wore a soft lavender frock, and was utterly delectable, and when I
reflected that but for this impassable barrier, which my own action in
the past had been the means of erecting between us, I might now have
made her love me, and that on this, our wedding day, she might have been
coming into my arms. I could have groaned aloud.
"May I open the window," she said with the air of an offended Empress.
"Yes, do, open it wide," and then I laughed aloud cynically. I could as
easily have cried.
Alathea would not of course have spoken about her suspicions, to do so
would have inferred that she took an interest in me beyond that of a
secretary; every impression she always has given me is that nothing in
my life can matter to her one jot. But I know that this affair of
Suzette does matter to her, that she resents it bitterly, that it is the
cause of her smouldering anger with me. She resents it because she is a
woman, and, how I wish I might believe that it is because she is not as
indifferent towards me as she pretends.
She poured out the tea. I expect my face looked like the devil, I did
not speak, I knew I was frowning angrily. A rising wind blew the curtain
out and banged the window. She got up and shut it, then she threw some
cedar dust on the fire from the box which it is kept in on a table near.
She had seen Burton do this no doubt. I love the smell of cedar burning.