I asked her to play to me at last, I was growing so apprehensive, and
she went from one divine thing to another for quite an hour, and then at
ten o'clock stopped and said a dignified and casual "good-night" leaving
me sitting in my chair.
I heard twelve and one strike after I too went to bed, no sleep would
come, I was reviewing things, and strengthening my courage. Then I got
up and hobbled into the salon to get the "Last Poems," the door was
open, why I don't know, nor do I know what impelled me to go out into
the passage and towards Alathea's room, some powerful magnet seemed to
draw me. The carpets are very deep and soft, no noise of footfalls can
be heard. I crept near the door and stopped. What was that faint sound?
I listened, yes it was a sob. I crept nearer.
Alathea was crying.
A soft continued moaning as of one in resigned distress. I could hardly
bear it. I could hardly prevent myself from opening the door and going
to her to comfort her.
My darling, darling little girl!
Flight was my only resource. So I left her to her tears, and returned to
my bed, and when I was safely there and could think, a wild sense of
triumph and power and satisfaction filled me! The weight, which all the
evening her marvelous self-control had been able to make me feel, lifted
from my heart, and I rejoiced!
Is it possible that the primitive instinct of the joy of conquest could
make of me such a brute!
It gave me pleasure to know that my little love suffered!
The sooner would she belong to me--quite!