Alathea, I would never be so unkind to you. And yet I don't know, if I
were jealous and angry, as I suppose she is, I could of course be much
crueler.
Her Ladyship's maid had been given the day out by her mistress, Burton
informed me, so that we could gain no information from her. We waited
until half-past eight for dinner, but still my little girl did not come,
and in solemn state in a white tie and tail coat, I dined--alone!
In spite of the champagne, which Burton again handed, apprehension set
in. What can have happened to her? Has she had an accident? Does she
mean never to return? Are all my calculations of no sense, and has she
left me forever?
In despair, at ten o'clock I telephoned the Hotel de Courville.
Lady Thormonde had been there in the morning, I was told, but the
Duchesse had left for Hautevine at two o'clock.--No one was in the house
now.--No, they did not know Lady Hilda Bulteel's telephone number. She
had no telephone they supposed.--No, they did not know the address.
Auteuil, and the name Bulteel, that is all! Perhaps something could be
done on a week-day, but on a Sunday night, in war time, all was
impossible. And at last in an agony of doubt and apprehension, I
consented to retire to bed.
Had I made some mistake? I tried to remember. She had said she meant to
decide if she could bear the situation or no, and that she was going to
her mother. She wanted to be with her. She had been ill and could not
start. Yes, of course that is it. The mother is ill, and they have no
telephone. I must wait until the morning. She cannot really mean not to
come back. In any case she would have let me know.
But what an agony of suspense!
Burton came and gave me my medicine, when I was in bed, and although I
knew it was a camouflaged sleeping draught, I drank it. I just could not
bear it any longer.
But I only slept until four, and now I am sitting up writing this, and
I feel as if every queer force was abroad, and that all sorts of
momentous things are happening.--Oh, when will daylight come-* * * * * I was awakened by cannon!
I leaped from my bed. Yes, leaped! I had been dreaming that a surprise
party of Germans were attacking the trench, and I was just rallying the
men for a final dash when heavy guns began a bombardment which was
unexpected.--Oh God! let me get up and over the top in time!