Yet all this lay hidden deep in her heart, and outwardly she was
perfectly calm; indeed, almost gay. She put on a pretty dark-blue
dress, and, taking her hat and sunshade, walked to school in her usual
buoyant way, where she remained until noon, and then returned home.
In the street she met Lida Sanina. They both stood there in the
sunlight, graceful, young, and pretty, as with smiles on their lips
they talked of trifling things. Lida felt morbidly hostile towards
Sina, happy and free from care as she imagined her to be, while the
latter envied Lida her liberty and her pleasant, easy life. Each
believed herself to be the victim of cruel injustice.
"I am surely better than she is. Why is she so happy, and why must I
suffer?" In both their minds this thought was uppermost.
After lunch, Sina took a book and sat near the window, listlessly
gazing at the garden that was still touched with the splendour of the
dying summer. The emotional crisis had passed, and now her mood was one
of apathy and indifference.
"Ah! Well, it's all over with me now," she kept repeating. "I'd better
die."
Sina saw Sanine before he noticed her. Tall and calm, he crossed the
garden, thrusting aside the branches as if to greet them by his touch.
Leaning back in her chair, and pressing the book against her bosom, she
watched him, wild-eyed, as he slowly approached the window.
"Good day," he said, holding out his hand.
Before she could rise or recover from her amazement he repeated in a
gentle, caressing tone.
"Good morning to you."
Sina felt utterly powerless. She only murmured: "Good morning."
Sanine leant on the window-sill and said: "Do come out into the garden for a little while and have a talk."
Sina got up, swayed by a strange force that robbed her of her will.
"I'll wait for you there," added Sanine.
She merely nodded.
As he strolled back to the garden Sina was afraid to look at him. For
some seconds she remained motionless, with her hands clasped, and then
suddenly went out, holding up her dress so as to walk more easily.
Sunlight touched the bright-hued autumn foliage; and the garden seemed
steeped in a golden haze. As Sina hastened towards him, Sanine was
standing at some distance in the middle of the path. His smile troubled
her. He took her hand, and, sitting on the trunk of a tree, gently drew
her on to his lap.
"I am not sure," he began, "that I ought to have come here to see you,
for you may think that I have treated you very badly. But I could not
stay away. I wanted to explain things, so that you might not utterly
hate and loathe me. After all ... what else could I do? How was I to
resist? There came a moment when I felt that the last barrier between
us had fallen, and that, if I missed this moment of my life, it would
never again be mine. You're so beautiful, so young ..."