Events had succeeded each other with such strange rapidity since the day
before, that I felt like one walking in a dream. First, Kondjé-Gul's
revelations of her mother's duplicity, then my discussion with Daniel,
and now finally this cynical dialogue with the Circassian, in the course
of which she had just confessed her schemes quite openly; all these
things had given such a succession of rude shocks to my spirit, which
had been reposing until then in the tranquil assurance of undisturbed
happiness, that I had hardly found time to estimate the extent of my
misfortune.
Overwhelmed with distress when I perceived the possibility
of losing Kondjé-Gul, I almost thought I should go mad. I made a
desperate struggle against the despair which was taking possession of my
mind. It was necessary for me to carry on the contest in order to defend
my very soul and life, yet I felt my soul slipping out of control. Like
a mystic fascinated by his vision, I might have allowed myself to be
deluded by a vain mirage of security, for I had never imagined that my
rights could be disputed. I had been living in the peaceful but foolish
confidence that I could obtain redress, when necessary, by the sword,
for my rival's presumption.
And now I had woke up in consternation at finding myself caught in this
stupid trap which I had permitted them to set in my path. Kondjé-Gul's
mother had become Kiusko's accomplice. How was I to defeat this
conspiracy between two minds animated by consuming passions, resolute
and pitiless, who were determined not to be deterred by any scruples or
any sense of honour? I could now see my weakness; I was paralysed and
defenceless against this wretched woman who, in order to constrain her
daughter and dispose of her future, had only to claim her legal
authority over her. She could take her from me, and carry her away. Once
back in Turkey, supported by the horrible laws of Islam, all she need do
was to sell her to Kiusko and thus give her up to him.
My mind was struck by a sudden idea. Was it not the height of folly on
my part to give way to childish alarms, and to defer action until after
Kiusko and the Circassian had matured their plans? Was it not possible
for me to escape, carrying Kondjé-Gul off with me, and placing her out
of reach of their pursuit?
As soon as this idea had taken possession of my mind, it fixed itself
there, and soon developed into a resolution. I felt surprised that it
had not occurred to me earlier, and decided to put it into execution
that very day. I knew that Kondjé-Gul would follow me, for we had often
cherished the idea of taking a journey together alone, and I had
promised her we would carry it out some day. In order to assure our
successful escape, I resolved to give her no notice beforehand, lest she
should let it out to her mother.