We parted at last, though with the utmost reluctance on my side; and
indeed he took his leave very unwillingly too, but necessity obliged
him, for his reasons were very good why he would not come to London, as
I understood more fully some time afterwards.
I gave him a direction how to write to me, though still I reserved the
grand secret, and never broke my resolution, which was not to let him
ever know my true name, who I was, or where to be found; he likewise
let me know how to write a letter to him, so that, he said, he would be
sure to receive it.
I came to London the next day after we parted, but did not go directly
to my old lodgings; but for another nameless reason took a private
lodging in St. John's Street, or, as it is vulgarly called, St.
Jones's, near Clerkenwell; and here, being perfectly alone, I had
leisure to sit down and reflect seriously upon the last seven months'
ramble I had made, for I had been abroad no less. The pleasant hours I
had with my last husband I looked back on with an infinite deal of
pleasure; but that pleasure was very much lessened when I found some
time after that I was really with child.
This was a perplexing thing, because of the difficulty which was before
me where I should get leave to lie in; it being one of the nicest
things in the world at that time of day for a woman that was a
stranger, and had no friends, to be entertained in that circumstance
without security, which, by the way, I had not, neither could I procure
any.
I had taken care all this while to preserve a correspondence with my
honest friend at the bank, or rather he took care to correspond with
me, for he wrote to me once a week; and though I had not spent my money
so fast as to want any from him, yet I often wrote also to let him know
I was alive. I had left directions in Lancashire, so that I had these
letters, which he sent, conveyed to me; and during my recess at St.
Jones's received a very obliging letter from him, assuring me that his
process for a divorce from his wife went on with success, though he met
with some difficulties in it that he did not expect.
I was not displeased with the news that his process was more tedious
than he expected; for though I was in no condition to have him yet, not
being so foolish to marry him when I knew myself to be with child by
another man, as some I know have ventured to do, yet I was not willing
to lose him, and, in a word, resolved to have him if he continued in
the same mind, as soon as I was up again; for I saw apparently I should
hear no more from my husband; and as he had all along pressed to marry,
and had assured me he would not be at all disgusted at it, or ever
offer to claim me again, so I made no scruple to resolve to do it if I
could, and if my other friend stood to his bargain; and I had a great
deal of reason to be assured that he would stand to it, by the letters
he wrote to me, which were the kindest and most obliging that could be.