I turned from him, for it filled my eyes with tears too, and I asked
him leave to retire a little to my chamber. If ever I had a grain of
true repentance for a vicious and abominable life for twenty-four years
past, it was then. On, what a felicity is it to mankind, said I to
myself, that they cannot see into the hearts of one another! How happy
had it been for me if I had been wife to a man of so much honesty, and
so much affection from the beginning!
Then it occurred to me, 'What an abominable creature am I! and how is
this innocent gentleman going to be abused by me! How little does he
think, that having divorced a whore, he is throwing himself into the
arms of another! that he is going to marry one that has lain with two
brothers, and has had three children by her own brother! one that was
born in Newgate, whose mother was a whore, and is now a transported
thief! one that has lain with thirteen men, and has had a child since
he saw me! Poor gentleman!' said I, 'what is he going to do?' After
this reproaching myself was over, it following thus: 'Well, if I must
be his wife, if it please God to give me grace, I'll be a true wife to
him, and love him suitably to the strange excess of his passion for me;
I will make him amends if possible, by what he shall see, for the
cheats and abuses I put upon him, which he does not see.' He was impatient for my coming out of my chamber, but finding me long,
he went downstairs and talked with my landlord about the parson.
My landlord, an officious though well-meaning fellow, had sent away for
the neighbouring clergyman; and when my gentleman began to speak of it
to him, and talk of sending for him, 'Sir,' says he to him, 'my friend
is in the house'; so without any more words he brought them together.
When he came to the minister, he asked him if he would venture to marry
a couple of strangers that were both willing. The parson said that Mr.
---- had said something to him of it; that he hoped it was no
clandestine business; that he seemed to be a grave gentleman, and he
supposed madam was not a girl, so that the consent of friends should be
wanted. 'To put you out of doubt of that,' says my gentleman, 'read
this paper'; and out he pulls the license. 'I am satisfied,' says the
minister; 'where is the lady?' 'You shall see her presently,' says my
gentleman.