I told him how far I had resisted him, and told him how sincere and
honourable his offers were. 'But,' says I, 'my case will be doubly
hard; for as they carry it ill to me now, because he desires to have
me, they'll carry it worse when they shall find I have denied him; and
they will presently say, there's something else in it, and then out it
comes that I am married already to somebody else, or that I would never
refuse a match so much above me as this was.' This discourse surprised him indeed very much. He told me that it was
a critical point indeed for me to manage, and he did not see which way
I should get out of it; but he would consider it, and let me know next
time we met, what resolution he was come to about it; and in the
meantime desired I would not give my consent to his brother, nor yet
give him a flat denial, but that I would hold him in suspense a while.
I seemed to start at his saying I should not give him my consent. I
told him he knew very well I had no consent to give; that he had
engaged himself to marry me, and that my consent was the same time
engaged to him; that he had all along told me I was his wife, and I
looked upon myself as effectually so as if the ceremony had passed; and
that it was from his own mouth that I did so, he having all along
persuaded me to call myself his wife.
'Well, my dear,' says he, 'don't be concerned at that now; if I am not
your husband, I'll be as good as a husband to you; and do not let those
things trouble you now, but let me look a little farther into this
affair, and I shall be able to say more next time we meet.' He pacified me as well as he could with this, but I found he was very
thoughtful, and that though he was very kind to me and kissed me a
thousand times, and more I believe, and gave me money too, yet he
offered no more all the while we were together, which was above two
hours, and which I much wondered at indeed at that time, considering
how it used to be, and what opportunity we had.
His brother did not come from London for five or six days, and it was
two days more before he got an opportunity to talk with him; but then
getting him by himself he began to talk very close to him about it, and
the same evening got an opportunity (for we had a long conference
together) to repeat all their discourse to me, which, as near as I can
remember, was to the purpose following. He told him he heard strange
news of him since he went, viz. that he made love to Mrs. Betty.
'Well, says his brother a little angrily, 'and so I do. And what then?
What has anybody to do with that?' 'Nay,' says his brother, 'don't be
angry, Robin; I don't pretend to have anything to do with it; nor do I
pretend to be angry with you about it. But I find they do concern
themselves about it, and that they have used the poor girl ill about
it, which I should take as done to myself.' 'Whom do you mean by
THEY?' says Robin. 'I mean my mother and the girls,' says the elder
brother. 'But hark ye,' says his brother, 'are you in earnest? Do you
really love this girl? You may be free with me, you know.' 'Why,
then,' says Robin, 'I will be free with you; I do love her above all
the women in the world, and I will have her, let them say and do what
they will. I believe the girl will not deny me.' It struck me to the heart when he told me this, for though it was most
rational to think I would not deny him, yet I knew in my own conscience
I must deny him, and I saw my ruin in my being obliged to do so; but I
knew it was my business to talk otherwise then, so I interrupted him in
his story thus.