"My last point, dearest, is that I am ill, and very, very anxious to see
you soon. My health has been failing ever since you left Rome. Perhaps
the anxieties I have gone through have been partly the cause of this,
but I am sure that your absence is chiefly responsible, and that no
doctor and no medicine would be so good for me as one rush into your
arms. Therefore come and give me back all my health and happiness. Come,
I beg of you. Leave it to others to do your work abroad. Come at once
before things have gone too far; come, come, come!"
She hesitated, wanting to say, "Not that I am very ill...." And then,
"You mustn't come if there is any risk to yourself...." And again, "I
would never forgive myself if...." But she crushed down her qualms,
sealed her letter, and sent the Garibaldian to post it.
Then she gathered up the entire body of David Rossi's letters, and
putting some light firewood into the stove she sat on the ground to burn
them. It was necessary to remove all evidence that could be used against
him in the event of a domiciliary visitation. One by one as the letters,
were passed into the fire she read parts of them, and some of the
passages seemed to stand out afresh in the flames. "Your friend must be
a true woman, and it was very sweet of you to be so tender with
her." ... "There is always a little twinge when I read between the lines
of your letters. Are you not dissimulating?... to keep up my
spirits?" ... "You shall smile and recover all your girlish spirits....
I shall hear your silvery laugh again as I did on that glorious day in
the Campagna." ... "It shows how rightly I judged the moral elevation
of your soul, your impeccability, your spirit of fire and your heart of
gold."
While the letters were burning she felt herself to be under the
influence of a kind of delirium. It was almost as though she were
committing murder.
X
The Pope had begun the day with the long task of administering the
sacrament to the lay members of his household, yet at eight o'clock he
was back in his library in the midst of his morning receptions
surrounded by a bevy of camerieri, monsignori, and messengers. First
came a Cardinal Prefect of Propaganda to report the doings of his
congregation; then an ambassador from Spain to tell of the suppression
of religious orders; and finally the majordomo to recite the official
programme for the public ceremonies which the Pope had ordered for Holy
Thursday.