Well, at last he rung the bell: O, thought I, that it was my
passing-bell! Mrs. Jervis went up, with a full heart enough, poor good
woman! He said, Where's Pamela? Let her come up, and do you come with
her. She came to me: I was ready to go with my feet; but my heart
was with my dear father and mother, wishing to share your poverty and
happiness. I went up, however.
O how can wicked men seem so steady and untouched with such black
hearts, while poor innocents stand like malefactors before them!
He looked so stern, that my heart failed me, and I wished myself any
where but there, though I had before been summoning up all my courage.
Good Heaven, said I to myself, give me courage to stand before this
naughty master! O soften him, or harden me!
Come in, fool, said he, angrily, as soon as he saw me; (and snatched my
hand with a pull;) you may well be ashamed to see me, after your noise
and nonsense, and exposing me as you have done. I ashamed to see you!
thought I: Very pretty indeed!--But I said nothing.
Mrs. Jervis, said he, here you are both together. Do you sit down; but
let her stand, if she will. Ay, thought I, if I can; for my knees beat
one against the other. Did you not think, when you saw the girl in the
way you found her in, that I had given her the greatest occasion for
complaint, that could possibly be given to a woman? And that I had
actually ruined her, as she calls it? Tell me, could you think any thing
less? Indeed, said she, I feared so at first. Has she told you what I
did to her, and all I did to her, to occasion all this folly, by which
my reputation might have suffered in your opinion, and in that of all
the family.--Inform me, what she has told you?
She was a little too much frightened, as she owned afterwards, at his
sternness, and said, Indeed she told me you only pulled her on your
knee, and kissed her. Then I plucked up my spirits a little. Only! Mrs. Jervis? said I; and
was not that enough to shew me what I had to fear? When a master of his
honour's degree demeans himself to be so free as that to such a poor
servant as me, what is the next to be expected?--But your honour went
farther, so you did; and threatened me what you would do, and talked of
Lucretia, and her hard fate.--Your honour knows you went too far for a
master to a servant, or even to his equal; and I cannot bear it. So I
fell a crying most sadly.