Thursday. This completes a terrible week since my setting out, as I hoped to see
you, my dear father and mother. O how different were my hopes then, from
what they are now! Yet who knows what these happy tiles may produce! But I must tell you, first, how I have been beaten by Mrs. Jewkes! It is
very true!--And thus it came about: My impatience was great to walk in the garden, to see if any thing had
offered, answerable to my hopes. But this wicked Mrs. Jewkes would not
let me go without her; and said, she was not at leisure. We had a great
many words about it; for I told her, it was very hard I could not be
trusted to walk by myself in the garden for a little air, but must be
dogged and watched worse than a thief. She still pleaded her instructions, and said she was not to trust me
out of her sight: And you had better, said she, be easy and contented, I
assure you; for I have worse orders than you have yet found. I remember,
added she, your asking Mr. Williams, If there were any gentry in the
neighbourhood? This makes me suspect you want to get away to them, to
tell your sad dismal story, as you call it. My heart was at my mouth; for I feared, by that hint, she had seen my
letter under the tiles: O how uneasy I was! At last she said, Well,
since you take on so, you may take a turn, and I will be with you in a
minute. When I was out of sight of her window, I speeded towards the hopeful
place; but was soon forced to slacken my pace, by her odious voice:
Hey-day, why so nimble, and whither so fast? said she: What! are you
upon a wager? I stopt for her, till her pursy sides were waddled up to
me; and she held by my arm, half out of breath: So I was forced to pass
by the dear place, without daring to look at it. The gardener was at work a little farther, and so we looked upon him,
and I began to talk about his art; but she said, softly, My instructions
are, not to let you be so familiar with the servants. Why, said I, are
you afraid I should confederate with them to commit a robbery upon my
master? May be I am, said the odious wretch; for to rob him of yourself,
would be the worst that could happen to him, in his opinion. And pray, said I, walking on, how came I to be his property? What right
has he in me, but such as a thief may plead to stolen goods?--Why,
was ever the like heard? says she.--This is downright rebellion, I
protest!--Well, well, lambkin, (which the foolish often calls me,) if
I was in his place, he should not have his property in you long
questionable. Why, what would you do, said I, if you were he?--Not stand
shill-I-shall-I, as he does; but put you and himself both out of your
pain.--Why, Jezebel, said I, (I could not help it,) would you ruin me by
force?--Upon this she gave me a deadly slap upon my shoulder: Take that,
said she; whom do you call Jezebel? I was so surprised, (for you never beat me, my dear father and mother,
in your lives,) that I was like one thunder-struck; and looked round, as
if I wanted somebody to help me; but, alas! I had nobody; and said, at
last, rubbing my shoulder, Is this also in your instructions?--Alas! for
me! am I to be beaten too? And so fell a crying, and threw myself upon
the grass-walk we were upon.--Said she, in a great pet, I won't be
called such names, I'll assure you. Marry come up! I see you have
a spirit: You must and shall be kept under. I'll manage such little
provoking things as you, I warrant ye! Come, come, we'll go in a'doors,
and I'll lock you up, and you shall have no shoes, nor any thing else,
if this be the case. I did not know what to do. This was a cruel thing to me, and I blamed
myself for my free speech; for now I have given her some pretence: and
O! thought I, here I have, by my malapertness, ruined the only project I
had left. The gardener saw this scene: but she called to him, Well, Jacob, what do
you stare at? Pray mind what you're upon. And away he walked, to another
quarter, out of sight. Well, thought I, I must put on the dissembler a little, I see. She took
my hand roughly; Come, get up, said she, and come in a'doors!--I'll
Jezebel you, I will so!--Why, dear Mrs. Jewkes, said I.--None of your
dears, and your coaxing! said she; why not Jezebel again?--She was in
a fearful passion, I saw, and I was out of my wits. Thought I, I
have often heard women blamed for their tongues; I wish mine had been
shorter. But I can't go in, said I, indeed I can't!--Why, said she,
can't you? I'll warrant I can take such a thin body as you under my arm,
and carry you in, if you won't walk. You don't know my strength.--Yes,
but I do, said I, too well; and will you not use me worse when I come
in?--So I arose, and she muttered to herself all the way, She to be a
Jezebel with me, that had used me so well! and such like. When I came near the house, I said, sitting down upon a settle-bench,
Well, I will not go in, till you say you forgive me, Mrs. Jewkes.--If
you will forgive my calling you that name, I will forgive your beating
me.--She sat down by me, and seemed in a great pucker, and said, Well,
come, I will forgive you for this time: and so kissed me, as a mark of
reconciliation.--But pray, said I, tell me where I am to walk and go,
and give me what liberty you can; and when I know the most you can
favour me with, you shall see I will be as content as I can, and not ask
you for more. Ay, said she, this is something like: I wish I could give you all the
liberty you desire; for you must think it is no pleasure to me to tie
you to my petticoat, as it were, and not let you stir without me.--But
people that will do their duties, must have some trouble: and what I
do, is to serve as good a master, to be sure, as lives.--Yes, said I, to
every body but me! He loves you too well, to be sure, returned she;
and that's the reason: so you ought to bear it. I say, love! replied I.
Come, said she, don't let the wench see you have been crying, nor tell
her any tales: for you won't tell them fairly, I am sure: and I'll send
her, and you shall take another walk in the garden, if you will: May be
it will get you a stomach to your dinner: for you don't eat enough
to keep life and soul together. You are beauty to the bone, added the
strange wretch, or you could not look so well as you do, with so little
stomach, so little rest, and so much pining and whining for nothing at
all. Well, thought I, say what thou wilt, so I can be rid of thy bad
tongue and company: and I hope to find some opportunity now to come at
my sunflower. But I walked the other way, to take that in my return, to
avoid suspicion. I forced my discourse to the maid; but it was all upon general things;
for I find she is asked after every thing I say and do. When I came near
the place, as I had been devising, I said, Pray step to the gardener,
and ask him to gather a sallad for me to dinner. She called out, Jacob!
said I, He can't hear you so far off; and pray tell him, I should like
a cucumber too, if he has one. When she had stept about a bow-shot from
me, I popt down, and whipt my fingers under the upper tile, and pulled
out a letter without direction, and thrust it in my bosom, trembling for
joy. She was with me, before I could well secure it; and I was in such
a taking that I feared I should discover myself. You seem frightened,
madam, said she; Why, said I, with a lucky thought, (alas! your poor
daughter will make an intriguer by and by; but I hope an innocent one!)
I stooped to smell at the sunflower, and a great nasty worm ran into the
ground, that startled me; for I can't abide worms. Said she, Sunflowers
don't smell. So I find, replied I. And then we walked in; and Mrs.
Jewkes said; Well, you have made haste now.--You shall go another time. I went up to my closet, locked myself in, and opening my letter, found
in it these words: 'I am infinitely concerned for your distress. I most heartily wish it
may be in my power to serve and save so much innocence, beauty, and
merit. My whole dependance is upon Mr. B----, and I have a near view of
being provided for by his favour to me. But yet I would sooner forfeit
all my hopes in him, (trusting in God for the rest,) than not assist
you, if possible. I never looked upon Mr. B---- in the light he
now appears in to me, in your case. To be sure, he is no professed
debauchee. But I am entirely of opinion, you should, if possible, get
out of his hands; and especially as you are in very bad ones in Mrs.
Jewkes's. 'We have here the widow Lady Jones, mistress of a good fortune; and a
woman of virtue, I believe. We have also old Sir Simon Darnford, and his
lady, who is a good woman; and they have two daughters, virtuous young
ladies. All the rest are but middling people, and traders, at best. I
will try, if you please, either Lady Jones, or Lady Darnford, if they'll
permit you to take refuge with them. I see no probability of keeping
myself concealed in this matter; but will, as I said, risk all things
to serve you; for I never saw a sweetness and innocence like yours; and
your hard case has attached me entirely to you; for I know, as you
so happily express, if I can serve you in this case, I shall thereby
perform all the acts of religion in one. 'As to Lady Davers, I will convey a letter, if you please, to her; but
it must not be from our post-house, I give you caution; for the man
owes all his bread to Mr. B----, and his place too; and I believe, by
something that dropt from him, over a can of ale, has his instructions.
You don't know how you are surrounded; all which confirms me in your
opinion, that no honour is meant you, let what will be professed; and I
am glad you want no caution on that head. 'Give me leave to say, that I had heard much in your praise; but, I
think, greatly short of what you deserve, both as to person and mind:
My eyes convince me of the one, your letter of the other. For fear
of losing the present lucky opportunity, I am longer than otherwise I
should be. But I will not enlarge, any further than to assure you that I
am, to the best of my power, 'Your faithful friend and servant,
'ARTHUR WILLIAMS.' 'I will come once every morning, and once every evening, after
school-time, to look for your letters. I'll come in, and return without
going into the house, if I see the coast clear: Otherwise, to avoid
suspicion, I'll come in.' I instantly, in answer to this pleasing letter, wrote as follows: