I never took to him in those times; I don't know that
I ever took to him greatly at any time. He was an undecided, irresolute
chap, who had everything but his orphan life scared out of him when he
was young. And when he brought you home here, the wife his uncle
had named for him, I didn't need to look at you twice (you were a
good-looking woman at that time) to know who'd be master. You have stood
of your own strength ever since. Stand of your own strength now. Don't
lean against the dead.' 'I do not--as you call it--lean against the dead.'
'But you had a mind to do it, if I had submitted,' growled Jeremiah,
'and that's why you drop down upon me. You can't forget that I didn't
submit. I suppose you are astonished that I should consider it worth my
while to have justice done to Arthur's father? Hey?
It doesn't matter whether you answer or not, because I know you
are, and you know you are. Come, then, I'll tell you how it is. I may
be a bit of an oddity in point of temper, but this is my temper--I can't
let anybody have entirely their own way. You are a determined woman, and
a clever woman; and when you see your purpose before you, nothing will
turn you from it. Who knows that better than I do?'
'Nothing will turn me from it, Flintwinch, when I have justified it to
myself. Add that.' 'Justified it to yourself? I said you were the most determined woman on
the face of the earth (or I meant to say so), and if you are determined
to justify any object you entertain, of course you'll do it.'
'Man! I justify myself by the authority of these Books,' she cried, with
stern emphasis, and appearing from the sound that followed to strike the
dead-weight of her arm upon the table.
'Never mind that,' returned Jeremiah calmly, 'we won't enter into that
question at present. However that may be, you carry out your purposes,
and you make everything go down before them. Now, I won't go down before
them. I have been faithful to you, and useful to you, and I am attached
to you. But I can't consent, and I won't consent, and I never did
consent, and I never will consent to be lost in you. Swallow up
everybody else, and welcome. The peculiarity of my temper is, ma'am,
that I won't be swallowed up alive.'
Perhaps this had Originally been the mainspring of the understanding
between them. Descrying thus much of force of character in Mr
Flintwinch, perhaps Mrs Clennam had deemed alliance with him worth her
while. 'Enough and more than enough of the subject,' said she gloomily. 'Unless you drop down upon me again,' returned the persistent
Flintwinch, 'and then you must expect to hear of it again.'