'My poor girl, what is the matter?'
She looked up suddenly, with reddened eyes, and with her hands
suspended, in the act of pinching her neck, freshly disfigured with
great scarlet blots. 'It's nothing to you what's the matter. It don't
signify to any one.' 'O yes it does; I am sorry to see you so.'
'You are not sorry,' said the girl. 'You are glad. You know you are
glad. I never was like this but twice over in the quarantine yonder; and
both times you found me. I am afraid of you.' '
Afraid of me?' 'Yes. You seem to come like my own anger, my own malice, my
own--whatever it is--I don't know what it is. But I am ill-used, I am
ill-used, I am ill-used!' Here the sobs and the tears, and the tearing
hand, which had all been suspended together since the first surprise,
went on together anew. The visitor stood looking at her with a strange attentive smile. It was
wonderful to see the fury of the contest in the girl, and the bodily
struggle she made as if she were rent by the Demons of old.
'I am younger than she is by two or three years, and yet it's me that
looks after her, as if I was old, and it's she that's always petted and
called Baby! I detest the name. I hate her! They make a fool of her,
they spoil her. She thinks of nothing but herself, she thinks no more of
me than if I was a stock and a stone!' So the girl went on.
'You must have patience.' 'I WON'T have patience!'
'If they take much care of themselves, and little or none of you, you
must not mind it.' I WILL mind it.' 'Hush! Be more prudent. You forget your dependent position.' 'I don't care for that. I'll run away. I'll do some mischief. I won't
bear it; I can't bear it; I shall die if I try to bear it!'
The observer stood with her hand upon her own bosom, looking at the
girl, as one afflicted with a diseased part might curiously watch the
dissection and exposition of an analogous case.
The girl raged and battled with all the force of her youth and fulness
of life, until by little and little her passionate exclamations trailed
off into broken murmurs as if she were in pain. By corresponding degrees
she sank into a chair, then upon her knees, then upon the ground beside
the bed, drawing the coverlet with her, half to hide her shamed head and
wet hair in it, and half, as it seemed, to embrace it, rather than have
nothing to take to her repentant breast.