"Yes, I hear," I said; "but it does not have any effect on me. You would be awful as a husband. Oh, I know all about them!" and I looked up. "I saw several sorts at Tryland, and Lady Verningham has told me of the rest, and I know you would be no earthly good in that rôle!"
He laughed, in spite of himself, but he still held my hand.
"Describe their types to me, that I may see which I should be," he said, with great seriousness.
"There is the Mackintosh kind--humble and 'titsy pootsy,' and a sort of under-nurse," I said.
"That is not my size, I fear."
"Then there is the Montgomerie--selfish and bullying, and near about money."
"But I am not Scotch."
"No--well, Lord Kestervin was English, and he fussed and worried, and looked out trains all the time."
"I will have a groom of the chambers."
"And they were all casual and indifferent to their poor wives--and boresome--and bored! And one told long stories, and one was stodgy, and one opened his wife's letters before she was down!"
"Tell me the attributes of a perfect husband, then, that I may learn them," he said.
"They have to pay all the bills----"
"Well, I could do that."
"And they have not to interfere with one's movements. And one must be able to make their hearts beat."
"Well, you could do that!" and he bent nearer to me. I drew back.
"And they have to take long journeys to the Rocky Mountains for months together, with men friends."
"Certainly not!" he exclaimed.
"There, you see!" I said; "the most important part you don't agree to. There is no use talking further."
"Yes, there is! You have not said half enough. Have they to make your heart beat, too?"
"You are hurting my hand."
He dropped it.
"Have they?"
"Lady Ver said no husband could do that. The fact of their being one kept your heart quite quiet, and often made you yawn; but she said it was not necessary, as long as you could make theirs so that they would do all you asked."
"Then do women's hearts never beat--did she tell you?"
"Of course they beat. How simple you are for thirty years old! They beat constantly for--oh--for people who are not husbands."