What was she leading up to?, Barbara wondered.
"What I want to ask is, if anything happens to me... You're Timmy's godmother... Would you adopt him?"
Barbara both accepted and rejected the idea all in the same moment.
"I will, of course. I can't tell you how much what you've asked means to me. But nothing is going to happen to you. Or to me. We're survivors, remember?"
"Then I'm very relieved," Gail said. "And it's all arranged and legal... My mother went into a tirade. She knows how much we mean to each other and how much you love Timmy and he loves you. But she kept talking about 'blood being thicker than water.' She wanted Timmy, if anything happened to me. Putting him in the military school was actually a compromise. It brought my father on my side for once, when it came to me having a war with my mother. He always let her have her way because he thought it brought peace in the house. I knew he was satisfied when I agreed to send Timmy to his old school. He told her, 'In this, we do what Barbara wants.' And I know he'll stick to it, if the time comes."
"But the time isn't going to come!" Barbara insisted.
"Just to make it legal, it's in my will. My father has a copy, our family lawyer has one, and here is yours."
Gail drew out an envelope and handed it across the table to Barbara.
"You can read it later, or if and when. It's just legal talk that confirms what I just told you. In the event of my death, you become legal guardian of Timmy and have the right to adopt him.
I know you'll bring him up as I would, and as Paul would have."
Barbara agonized. I wish you'd stop talking like this is going to happen, and tomorrow! Maybe you're still grieving for Paul a little too much, and it's become unhealthy... This talk of dying. Please don't do anything to make that happen! But Gail kept on, trying to explain; fearing she was not quite finding the right words.
"I want Timmy to grow up to be like his father was. A strong, healthy, honest, good man, caring about others and not just himself. A man in the best sense of the word, but not a macho brute. I want him to be an all-around man, glad of his masculinity but not afraid of any feminine side to his nature. He doesn't have to be a football star or concert violinist, but should like both athletics and culture. Mainly, he should not be afraid to live, but in a way that makes him a credit to himself and to us."