A poor man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low family
possessed of mediocre qualities, a neighbour possessed of wealth, and
one under the control of his father, mother or brothers, should not
marry without endeavouring to gain over the girl from her childhood to
love and esteem them. Thus a boy separated from his parents, and living
in the house of his uncle, should try to gain over the daughter of his
uncle, or some other girl, even though she be previously betrothed to
another. And this way of gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is
unexceptional, because Dharma can be accomplished by means of it, as
well as by any other way of marriage.
When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should spend his
time with her and amuse her with various games and diversions fitted for
their age and acquaintanceship, such as picking and collecting flowers,
making garlands of flowers, playing the parts of members of a fictitious
family, cooking food, playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of
odd and even, the game of finding out the middle finger, the game of six
pebbles, and such other games as may be prevalent in the country, and
agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In addition to this, he should
carry on various amusing games played by several persons together, such
as hide and seek, playing with seeds, hiding things in several small
heaps of wheat and looking for them, blind-man's buff, gymnastic
exercises, and other games of the same sort, in company with the girl,
her friends and female attendants. The man should also show great
kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks fit to be trusted, and should
also make new acquaintances, but above all he should attach to himself
by kindness and little services the daughter of the girl's nurse, for
if she be gained over, even though she comes to know of his design, she
does not cause any obstruction, but is sometimes even able to effect an
union between him and the girl. And though she knows the true character
of the man, she always talks of his many excellent qualities to the
parents and relations of the girl, even though she may not be desired to
do so by him.
In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most delight in,
and he should get for her whatever she may have a desire to possess.
Thus he should procure for her such playthings as may be hardly known to
other girls. He may also show her a ball dyed with various colours, and
other curiosities of the same sort; and should give her dolls made of
cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, ivory, wax, flour, or earth; also utensils
for cooking food, and figures in wood, such as a man and woman standing,
a pair of rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo,
or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and cages for parrots, cuckoos,
starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels of different
sorts and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about, guitars,
stands for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow
ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well as sandal-wood, saffron,
betel nut and betel leaves. Such things should be given at different
times whenever he gets a good opportunity of meeting her, and some of
them should be given in private, and some in public, according to
circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to make her look
upon him as one who would do for her everything that she wanted to be
done.