They burned the offensive bicycle in the courtyard of the palace,
ceremoniously, too, and the princess had witnessed this solemn _auto da
fé_ from her barred window. It is no strain upon the imagination to
conjure up the picture of her fine rage, her threatening hands, her
compressed lips, her tearless, flashing eyes, as she saw her beautiful
new wheel writhe and twist on the blazing fagots. But what the deuce
was a poor duke to do with a niece like this?
For a time I feared that the United States and the Grand Duchy of
Barscheit would sever diplomatic relations. The bicycle was,
unfortunately, of American make, and the manufacturers wrote to me
personally that they considered themselves grossly insulted over the
action of the duke. Diplomatic notes were exchanged, and I finally
prevailed upon the duke to state that he held the wheel harmless and
that his anger had been directed solely against his niece. This letter
was duly forwarded to the manufacturers, who, after the manner of their
kind, carefully altered the phrasing and used it in their magazine
advertisements. They were so far appeased that they offered me my
selection from the private stock. Happily the duke never read anything
but the _Fliegende Blätter_ and _Jugend_, and thus war was averted.
Later an automobile agent visited the town--at the secret bidding of
her Highness--but he was so unceremoniously hustled over the frontier
that his teeth must have rattled like a dancer's castanets. It was a
great country for expeditiousness, as you will find, if you do me the
honor to follow me to the end.
So the grand duke swore that his niece should wed Doppelkinn, and the
princess vowed that she would not. The man who had charge of my horses
said that one of the palace maids had recounted to him a dialogue which
had taken place between the duke and his niece. As I was anxious to be
off on the road I was compelled to listen to his gossip.
THE GRAND DUKE--In two months' time you shall wed the Prince of
Doppelkinn.
THE PRINCESS--What! that old red-nose? Never! I shall marry only
where I love.
THE GRAND DUKE--Only where you love! (_Sneers_.) One would think, to
hear you talk, that you were capable of loving something.
THE PRINCESS--You have yet to learn. I warn you not to force me. I
promise to do something scandalous. I will marry one of the people--a
man.
THE GRAND DUKE--Bah! (_Swears softly on his way down to the stables_.)
But the princess had in her mind a plan which, had it gone through
safely, would have added many grey hairs to the duke's scanty
collection. It was a mighty ingenious plan, too, for a woman to figure
out.