I nodded to the security guard, Malcolm, at the door, swiped my ID card at the entrance and walked quickly to my station. I sat down in my chair and started my system up. I looked around to find James, and sighed with relief when I saw him upstairs in his office talking with a new guy. Maybe he wouldn't notice. I logged onto the computer and started going through the files on my desk. I read the thread assessments and protocol for today. No new leads on the people who were spreading Anthrax through the mail to senators and others. Anthrax was a deadly biochemical that was fatal in powder form when inhaled; it had already killed five people and at least thirteen more people were sick and we had no viable leads. More bad news. I had a few minor things to work on but they could wait for a few more minutes.
I got up and went to the restroom. I checked in the mirror and my hair was a mess like I thought it was. I pulled a comb out of my purse quickly brushing out my hair before throwing it up and twisting it into a bun. Amy, my best friend walked in as I was about to walk out. We were complete opposites: she had short blonde hair while mine was dark brown and long. She had green eyes I had blue. She was short 5'3. I was tall 5'8. I was quiet and reserved, and she was outgoing and loud. Yet we had the same tastes in clothes, books, music and men. More importantly we had grown up together, we were both twenty-eight, and she knew everything about me.
"Hey Mandy," she said.
"Hey."
"James wants to see you when you're done. He noticed that you were late." Even more bad news. "Crap. I hoped he hadn't noticed."
"So, let me guess you spent half the night up debating about Bryan."
I shook my head. "Yeah, you know me to well."
"Well, remember what I said. He is a jerk and should have never asked you to choose. Forget him and move on," she said bluntly.
"It's not that easy," I pointed out.
She grinned. "Yeah, but if you come out with me once in a while it'd be a lot easier."
"I'll think about it."
"You'd better or next time I'll drag you out, no excuses," she said and I laughed.
She headed to the stall and I walked out. She was right of course; what he had done wasn't right. I loved my job and I was good at it. I had gotten a degree in computer science and could crack codes, stop viruses, detect intrusions in the system, find computer vulnerabilities, and attack scripts. I was just as good out in the field; I was tough when need be and was as good an agent as any guy here. I could fight hand to hand; I knew how to handle a gun and my instincts hadn't failed me yet. I loved the thrill of this job and although the danger wasn't a plus I knew how to be careful. I was third in command here and had been promoted quicker than anyone else my age. I also loved the fact that what I did really mattered, every hostile we apprehended and every terrorist act we stopped saved innocent lives. That was even more important after 9/11 and now with this scare, how could he have asked me that? I knew that working 12-16 hours a day wasn't good for a relationship, but we had made it work for a while. I knew we could continue to if he really wanted to. So, I had chosen the job knowing if he really loved me he wouldn't have asked. And that was it, but it didn't mean my feelings went away. Maybe, I hadn't loved him, but I had cared about him. I had dated him for almost two years. That was a lot of memories to forget, good and bad.