"Anyway, I just, things aren't ever going to be perfect Kip. You are a hockey player. Half your career is road games and I can't travel with you most of the time. I just want to be with you. But, you, it seems like you are waiting for things to be perfect before you ask me to spend our lives together. And I can't wait for it any more."
Wait? She didn't have to wait any longer. He was going to ask her that this weekend. He wasn't going to ask her over the phone. This was supposed to be a celebration. Before he could say anything, Mandy spoke again. "Maybe I just need some space. I'll talk to you in a few days." With that she hung up the phone.
Kip closed it slowly, mechanically. He stared shocked at the phone for a while.
Eventually he got up and ran himself a hot bath in the jet tub, letting it pound into his tense muscles.
He a terrible guilt had settled into him. He'd been so focused on his game, on playing well, on training that he hadn't been giving her the attention. He shouldn't have put his needs first, he should have talked to her about the future. He shouldn't have listened to her when she said that they would talk after it was all over.
He should have been on top of the world after being the winning goalie of the team that won The Stanely Cup. He had a five year, multi-million dollar deal. But, he was close to losing the girl.
As he ran through everything of the past two months of the series and Mandy, he realized the guilt went deeper.
Walking away from her twelve years ago. There'd been a bad cloud over their heads about that for the past four months. The original agreement had been that he would go and they would maintain a relationship, long distance and he'd come home to her when he could. But, he'd known that her plan all along was to let him go. And, he'd gone with her. He'd let her push him away.
She was doing that all over again.
Had she done it in the first place because of fear or love? He tried to remember the things that happened between him. But, she refused to talk about her decisions.
And, so he'd gone to play hockey because it was what she wanted him to do and what his father wanted him to do. Kip himself did really love the game. But, he'd gone because of their desires, not his own.