"H'm!" was Miss Vanderwall's thoughtful comment. Presently she
added dubiously: "Did you ever think that another child might make
a big difference to Clarence, Rachael? That he might come to care
for a son as he does for Billy, don't you know--"
"Oh, I wasn't speaking of Clarence," Mrs. Breckenridge said
coldly. And Elinor, recognizing a false step, winced inwardly.
"No, I didn't suppose you were!" she assented hastily.
"If there's one thing I AM thankful for," Rachael presently said
moodily, "it's that I haven't a child. I'm rather fond of kiddies-
-nice kiddies, myself; and Clarence likes children, too. But
things are quite bad enough now without that complication!" She
brushed the loosened hair from her face restlessly, and sighed.
"Sometimes, when I see the other girls," said she, "I think I'd
make a rather good mother! However"--and getting suddenly to her
feet, she flung up her head as if to be rid of the subject--
"however, my dear, we shall never know! Don't mind me to-night,
Elinor, I'm in a horrible mood, it will take nothing at all to set
me off in what Bill used to call a regilyer tant'um!"
"Tantrum nothing," said Elinor, in eager sympathy, feeling with
the greatest relief that she was reinstated in Rachael's good
graces after her stupid blunder. "I don't see how you stand it at
all!"
"It isn't the drinking and headaches and general stupidity in
themselves, you know," Rachael said, reverting to her original
argument, "but it's the atrocious UNNECESSITY of it! I don't mind
Clarence's doing as other men do, I certainly don't mind his
caring so much for his daughter"--her fine brows drew together--
"but where do I come in?" she demanded with a quizzical smile.
"What's MY life? I ask only decency and civility, and I don't get
it. The very servants in this house pity me--they see it all. When
Clarence isn't himself, he needs me; when he is, he is all for
Billy. I must apologize for breaking engagements; people don't ask
us out any more, and no wonder! I have to coax money out of him
for bills; Billy has her own check-book. I have to keep quiet when
I'm boiling all over. I have to defend myself when I know I'm
bitterly, cruelly wronged!"
Neither woman had any scruples about the subject under discussion,
but even to Elinor Rachael had never spoken so freely before, and
the guest, desperately attempting to remember every word for the
delectation of her family and friends later on, felt herself at
once honored and thrilled.
"Rachael--but why do you stand it?"
Mrs. Breckenridge threw her a look full of all conscious
forbearance.