Enjoying a nice, long stretch after she crawled from bed, she decided to enjoy all the good days that she could. Then she went to the bathroom.
And all the good feelings went away in a rush of terror so real that it made her previous turmoil seem as inconsequential as worrying over an exam she knew she would ace anyway.
Calm. Keep calm. She took care of the situation as best she could and changed out of her silky pajama bottoms into dark yoga pants. Purse, where was her purse? There, beside her dresser. She grabbed it, moving as carefully as she could, then went to look at her sheets. Nothing marred the pale-pink-with-flowers pattern, so that was good. Good. She left her room and went downstairs, taking each step slowly.
Her mother sat at the breakfast nook, having an afternoon cup of coffee and leafing through a magazine, her leisurely day about to be seriously disrupted. She lifted her mug to her lips as Gabby spoke.
“Mom,” she said coolly and waited until her mother looked at her. “Put down the cup.” Frowning, Gianna did so. “I need you to not freak out on me. But you need to drive me to the ER.”
Of course, as expected, Gianna freaked out. Her face blanched and her eyes rounded. She rushed to Gabby’s side as if she might collapse at any moment. “Oh God, what’s wrong?”
“I’m okay. But let’s go. I’ll explain on the way.”
Her mom’s eyebrows drew together, that Evan worry-line forming between them. “You’re okay but—”
“Mom! Get your purse and let’s go!”
Less than two minutes later, Gianna was speeding down their driveway in her Mercedes, her knuckles white on the wheel. Gabby stared blindly at those bejeweled hands and felt the words rising in her throat. She couldn’t seem to push them out, until her mother said…
“Gabriella, tell me what’s going on right now.”
“I’m pregnant. And I’m bleeding.” And now she couldn’t look at her mom anymore, so she turned and stared out the window at the passing trees, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth in an effort to hold back the tears. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t disappoint her family, get Ian involved and end up with nothing to show for it. She couldn’t have another dream snatched away from her. How much more could she take?
The tears spilled regardless of her attempts to hold them at bay. She hadn’t cried in her mother’s presence since she was a kid. Not even over Mark.
“Preg— You— What?”
“You heard me. And I know what you want to say. I don’t need a lecture.”
“By who?”
“Doesn’t matter. You don’t know him. I might be miscarrying anyway.”
To her surprise, she felt her mother’s fingers curl around her left hand and squeeze tight. “I hope not.”
“I guess we’ll see.”
Her mom released her, putting her hand back on the wheel. “Get my phone out of my purse. I’m calling your father. Don’t argue with me,” she added sharply when Gabby opened her mouth to wail. “You should have told us both about this.”
“I’m sorry, but—”
“Merda, Gabriella. Were you just going to leave without us knowing this?”
Oh God, she was bringing out the Italian cuss words. Brian would be so proud of her. “I don’t know!”
“This is not the way I would want to find out!”
Gabby lifted her fingers to her temples and rubbed. “Please don’t yell at me. You’ll upset the baby.”
Her mother’s face softened. Score. “Get my phone.”
“Telling Dad will upset the baby too.”
“Get. My. Phone.”
Or not. Sighing, she dug into her mom’s Prada and handed her the phone, then returned to her former position staring out the window. She supposed she needed to make a phone call of her own but couldn’t bring herself to do it until she had more information.
Still no pain in her abdomen. Obstetrics wasn’t her specialty by a long shot, but she hoped she could take that as a good sign. She shut her eyes and tried not to listen to her mother filling her dad in, but there was no way on earth she couldn’t hear it. The movements of the car without the benefit of sight began to make her feel nauseated, and she had to open them again.
“I know,” Gianna was saying. “I have no idea what she was thinking. If—”
She couldn’t stand it anymore. This wasn’t going to turn into a situation where she was talked about like she wasn’t even present. Where they planned and schemed like she didn’t have a say. “Give me the freaking phone,” she snapped, plucking it away from her mom’s ear. “Daddy?”
“What is going on with you, Gabby?” Alexander Ross could bring the thunder right alongside his wife, and that was what Gabriella had been prepared for, what she’d been ready to give right back. But her dad only sounded disappointed and more than a little concerned.
“I’m sorry,” she said, all the fight going out of her. She had a sudden vision of the distant future: her child f**king up and Gabby trying to understand his or her actions. She wanted that future so badly, even with its ups and downs and disappointments. She hadn’t realized how much until now. A fresh deluge of tears streamed from her eyes. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t want to make you guys worry. I was going to tell you both, I promise. But yes, I am pregnant, and I don’t want to lose this baby. So please don’t make me explain any more right now. I just want to get to the hospital and find out what’s going on.”
“All right. I’m on my way there to be with you both,” he said. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Sniffling, she gave the phone back to her mom, practically tossing it at her because she couldn’t see for her tears. Gianna spoke a few more words to her husband and hung up. Moments passed where the car’s quiet engine was the only sound. Finally, the hospital came into sight up ahead, and she felt the warmth of her mother’s hand on her arm as dread settled into her stomach. They always said doctors made the worst patients—well, she wasn’t one yet, but she already filled that particular criterion.
“It’s going to be all right,” Gianna said.
More than dread—outright panic welled in her chest. “I don’t want to go.”
“You have to.”
She knew that, she did—but that didn’t stop her from wishing there were some way she could get her mother to turn the car around and take her back home. As Gianna eased through the ER’s parking lot, looking for an empty space, Gabby grabbed for her purse and dug for her own phone. She fired off a quick text to Ian and prayed he would come. It would be so awkward to everyone involved. It would blow their secret wide open for the world to scrutinize and offer its f**king self-righteous opinions on, but it didn’t matter to her anymore. All she wanted was to see his face. She wanted him telling her it was going to be all right. Making her feel safe and protected. If he’d be inclined to do so.
If the worst happened, though—and she always planned for the worst, it seemed—she didn’t know how she was going to tell him. No doubt he would be gone from her life then, and probably ecstatic to get away from the insane almost-mother of his child.