Problem was, Ian was as much an ass**le as that guy, wasn’t he? And if she were really his, she wouldn’t have felt the need to give Mark another shot. He thought he might break under the weight of the guilt that crashed down on him all at once.
All his fault. Every bit of it.
He waited until the doctor—tall, good-looking, obviously filthy loaded—descended the stairs, got back into his expensive f**king car and drove away.
Gabby had long since shut the door. He debated calling her, alerting her that he was here, but…no. Whatever reaction he got from her, good or bad, he wanted it to be the true one. Candid and unrehearsed. He bolted up the stairs to her door and knocked, hoping he wouldn’t scare the shit out of her.
He didn’t have to wait long. It flew open, and she stood there, her heels making her almost as tall as him, those green eyes flashing. As inwardly ravaged as he was from just having watched her kiss another man, she took his breath away, the upsweep of her hair exposing her graceful neck and dewy shoulders.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded.
No, not scared. And definitely not happy. Pissed the f**k off. As soon as she gave in to that anger, though, she deflated. Her expression all but collapsed, and for the first time, the light from the living room caught on the fresh tears on her cheeks. They were smeared, as if she’d tried to wipe them away, hide them from him, before flinging the door open.
He didn’t wait for her invite. Surging forward, he caught her face in his hands, feeling that dampness on his palms, assuring himself it was real. “Ian,” she breathed, her eyes taking in the measure of his face, seeming to drink him in.
Another man’s kiss was fresh on her lips. He struggled to contain his desperation to wipe that memory away from her. Her hands slid up his forearms, clamping on his wrists. All at once, she wrenched herself away from him. “I can’t deal with you right now.”
“Gabby… Please hear me out.”
“I haven’t heard much of anything from you for nearly a month. Now I’m supposed to listen just because you say so?” Damn stubborn woman. Brian had tried to warn him from the start. He hadn’t listened, and he was damn glad of that. But still. “What have you been doing, lurking in my bushes? How long have you been out there?”
“Not too long, but long enough.”
“You saw us.”
“Baby, I’m not even— I understand, okay? I do.”
“You don’t understand. You can’t possibly understand what I’m going through. I don’t want your f**king pity, I just don’t ever want to hear you say those words to me again. Because it isn’t possible.”
“All I meant was that I understand why you might turn back to him. You’re here all alone, and it’s my fault. I can’t put the blame on anyone else. I didn’t want you to alienate your family, Gabby. You need them more than you need me. You can’t tell me that much isn’t true.”
“Then what the hell are you doing here? You’ve made your decision, apparently. So be on your way.”
“What would you have me do? Make you give everything up? That’s a hell of a position you’re putting me in. You told me from the start you didn’t want anyone making decisions for you. So I backed off.” He wanted to tell her everything was all right, that he’d made it that way. Hell, he didn’t know how she would take to that news now.
“I presented you with other options, and you didn’t want to take them. And that’s okay. I told you from the start that I would do this on my own, and you didn’t have to be involved. You should’ve left it like that! If that’s the way you really wanted it, then why did you have to lead me on and make me think you…” She dissolved into hiccupping sobs. Oh God. He couldn’t bear it. He wrapped her in his arms, withstanding her brief struggles until she finally collapsed against him, all but boneless.
“That’s not the way I want it. I love you,” he said, his voice cracking as he closed his eyes and pulled her closer still. Her hands fisted in his T-shirt, wetness spreading through the fabric from her tears. “I love you so f**king much. I can’t be without you anymore.”
Twice in one night, she’d heard things she’d needed to hear for a long time from two different men. She hadn’t expected either of them, though, to put her in this predicament.
Mark still wanted her. She could go with him and reclaim her security, her much-needed stability. The support of her family. But she’d sacrifice her child growing up with his or her father…and now she knew she’d sacrifice the blazing sexual chemistry, the fireworks that she’d never known with anyone else.
Ian wanted her. With him, she would be giving up pretty much everything except their little family being together, standing strong against everything the world threw at them…but the intensity of the feelings between them, the understanding, the connection might just be worth it. And he was here now ready to fight for her too.
When he slipped from her grasp and went to his knees in front of her, she gasped, unstable on her jellied legs. Only his hands around her hips held her steady. His hazel eyes lifted to meet hers, and the emotion she saw in their depths robbed her of breath. Her heart lurched into her throat; her pulse throbbed so hard she could feel it everywhere. She shook with the force of it.
“I love you,” he said again, and while she didn’t think there were actual tears in his eyes, they were a little misty. “Gabriella, you’re carrying the only family I have, but it’s more than that. It’s you. If you hadn’t been so far out of my league, I’d have fought to keep you in my life even before the baby, but I thought it was hopeless. That there was no use in trying. There’s probably no use in trying now. But if you’ll forgive me, I swear to God and you and anyone else you want me to swear to, I’ll be with you. I’ll protect you and our baby and any others we might have. I can’t promise I’ll be able to give you everything you deserve, but I can promise you that you’ll have all of me. Forever.”
She’d never seen such sincerity or longing, such heartbreak, as she saw in his face right then. So much simultaneous hope and despair, as if he knew the thing he so fervently prayed for was most likely out of his reach. There was nothing to do but pitch herself down into his arms, and he squeezed her so tight she couldn’t draw what little breath her emotions would allow.
Oh God. What would they do? It didn’t matter. Somehow, someway, they would make it work—she would do whatever she had to. To hell with everyone else. It would indeed be their little family, their little trio, standing strong against everyone else.
“I love you,” she said, the words pouring from her, unstoppable. “And I love everything you just said too. It’s all I want, Ian. You’re enough for me. I don’t need anything else.”
“Really? You would give it all up for me? Medical school even?”
She didn’t want to. She’d already worked so hard. But…yes. When she thought of a future without this, without this feeling of safety and love, without the strength and solidity of him against her…she would. She would have to. She might die without him. She had been dying, hadn’t she?
“Yes.” Her eyes closed to keep a fresh torrent of tears from falling. So many dreams she’d be giving up, all to have another.