The bus finally passed through the majestic gates of Sydney University after creeping through the tortuous streets of Newtown. Zoe looked out at her place of teacher training and sighed.
'Been a while?'
Looking at the other teacher who had accompanied her on this excursion Zoe replied. 'Not so long. Four years and I said I'd only stick it for three!'
'Said the same thing and what did I receive at last weeks morning tea?'
'Your 20 year certificate?'
'That's right. And so proud of it too.'
Zoe knew that the depreciative tone hid her friend's true pride in and love of the job. She however felt that the spark she had when she left uni had well and truly been snuffed out though the fault lay not with the job so much as with herself. She felt dissatisfied and impatient with the way her life was. There was no two ways about it and it all was because of the accident and her fantasy life as she called it. A mere a wrinkle in her boringly flat existence that had left her heartsore. It wasn't the ritzy lifestyle or house on the harbour though that she was pining for. She knew she wasn't that shallow. It was the absence of someone to love, someone who cared about her, someone at breakfast and the same one there at the end of the day.
She missed his smile.
For sure she reminded herself her family loved her but that went with their job. What she missed was having that special someone who she thought loved her for herself, especially loved her for who she was and not what she was - sister, daughter, aunty. For those 2 glorious days after the party she had been in heaven before descending into hell.
She missed Ethan.
It was as simple and as complicated as that.
'Come on let's get this show on the road.' The gentle elbow in her ribs brought Zoe out of her umpteenth contemplation of 'what could have beens' and back to the inevitable acceptance of what wouldn't be. 'You want to lay down the law or will I?'
'I'll do it. After all your History teacher voice barely reaches the back row of desks let alone a 64 seater bus!' The smile on Zoe's face softened her taunt as she turned to the sea of chattering students behind, some of which had begun to leave their seats. She bellowed. 'Sit down-sit down! When you leave the bus you are to take any rubbish with you from the food that, of course, you didn't eat because you were told not to!'