For a moment she had the shocking realization that the situation was out of control. She squirmed to get out from under him, but the movement was misinterpreted. She caught her breath in a startled gasp of pain.
"Russ?"
"Darling," He spoke in a husky whisper. His warm breath quickened against her throat. His lips found hers in an ardent kiss.
In the fog of desire she knew one thing - it was too late to protest. All desire to push him away vanished and she clung to him, lost in the ecstasy of his urgent lovemaking.
Some time later she awoke in his arms. The fire flickered feebly, its passion curbed by time as well. She stared at the fire, shocked by the enormity of what she had done. How could she have allowed this to happen? She should never have lain down on the couch with him. She knew that at the time, so why had she pushed reason aside? Because it was Cade. Not only because she loved him, but also because she trusted him. Had Cade planned to seduce her, or was he also a victim of mislaid trust? After all, she had made the first move, turning her head as he kissed her cheek.
She moved away from him and stared down at his relaxed features. When had he changed from the unattractive older man she met in the diner to the good looking young man who now lay beside her? Was she blinded by love now, or had she merely been unobservant before?
She gently worked her nightgown out from under him, hoping all the while that he wouldn't wake. Who would wake from that sleeping body? The man she made love to last night or the recluse - Cade? Her cheeks burned. How many times had she sworn she would never do that with anyone but her husband? She had been so sure it would never happen with her consent. But Cade hadn't raped her. She had been a willing participant. In her confused state of mind, she had convinced herself that he loved her. But now her head was clear. Cade only wanted one thing - and she had foolishly submitted. For him it was nothing more than a brief episode of pleasure.
Tears spilled down her cheeks as she slipped away from the couch. Cade still slept peacefully - not that he would have cared if she left at this point anyway. A lump was forming in her throat and she was afraid she was going to retch. She hurried to her bathroom.
Half an hour later, her eyes swollen and her chest sore from sobbing, she turned her face up to the warm water in the shower. Clenching her hands together she prayed fervently. "Oh God," she cried softly. "Please let me wake up and find out this was only a dream." But when she opened her eyes, it was no dream. She scrubbed her skin rosy for nearly an hour and finally abandoned the attempt to remove the guilt. She dressed as the sun was sending its first rays through the bathroom window. Time couldn't be turned back. The mistake had been made and she had no choice but to acknowledge it and get on with her life. It wasn't the worst thing that could happen. She stopped at the door and caught her breath. No, certainly not. It could be much worse. But it was only once. She shook her head. That was all it took, providing it was the right time. Was it? She tried to calculate, and the blood pumped in her neck. And this could be exactly the right time.