I listen.
"The mud in the trenches was so deep, it was over their boots. I know these things. I'm Jumping Jack Flash."
"Mr. Jostleplume." The doctor interrupts us. "I'm Dr. Patel. Can we talk? You're having a reaction to the Franafranil. We are taking you off, okay? We're gonna try Querasil."
Jumping Jack Flash continues, "I was a ranch hand at the Wind River Ranch. You see, Fox, because I have good training I know about these things. . . They fired their machine guns so much, the barrels melted." He shows a lot of teeth when he grins.
We watch the TV.
He perks up. "The Japanese had booby traps and spider holes."
"If we ever got in a war with Japan all they would have to do is press one button, and all the electronic devices in the United States would explode. The results would be devastating. Or perhaps they just have tiny cameras. Unbelievable intelligence potential. Or perhaps its nanoweapons grade biospore with enough Pig's Disease to eradicate the world seven times over."
"Can you imagine what it must've been like?" He sprays a machine gun with a big smile on his face. "Their guns melted." It cracks him up every time.
The commercial comes on. Her again. "Take it from me, kids! Take it from me, kids. I'm the Capsulsgrave Pie Girl! I'm the Capsulsgrave Pie Girl! Take it from me kids!" It doesn't matter which channel; they're all in on it. "THE BEST WAY TO SHOW SOMEONE YOU CARE IS TO GIVE THEM A CAPSULSGRAVE PIE." "Take it from me, The Capsulsgrave Pie Girl." "I'm the Capsulsgrave Pie Girl!" "I'm the Capsulsgrave Pie Girl!" "REMEMBER KIDS- Love Equals Pie!" "LOVE EQUALS PIE!" "I'm the Capsulsgrave Pie Girl!" "Take it from me Kids!" "Love equals pie!"
Did you notice they play the same commercial over and over? Each computer generated orange hair glistens as she bobs up and down in slow motion. She is a singing dancing pie- what a freakin' concept. A singing dancing pie- singing, "Eat me. Eat me."
"You know they designed the music to brainwash you?"
They know exactly what beat will produce maximum buying behavior in test subjects. Don't remember signing up to be a test subject? You did when you bought candy and didn't have your lawyer read the fine print. Have your doctor read it. Then your psychiatrist. If you still want it . . . you're me.