"Now I am coming to what I wanted to tell you. In those days of
bitterness, I went two or three times, when it was my turn to go out,
to my favourite place--the beach above the Shivering Sand. And I said to
myself, 'I think it will end here. When I can bear it no longer, I think
it will end here.' You will understand, sir, that the place had laid
a kind of spell on me before you came. I had always had a notion that
something would happen to me at the quicksand. But I had never looked
at it, with the thought of its being the means of my making away with
myself, till the time came of which I am now writing. Then I did think
that here was a place which would end all my troubles for me in a moment
or two--and hide me for ever afterwards.
"This is all I have to say about myself, reckoning from the morning when
I first saw you, to the morning when the alarm was raised in the house
that the Diamond was lost.
"I was so aggravated by the foolish talk among the women servants, all
wondering who was to be suspected first; and I was so angry with you
(knowing no better at that time) for the pains you took in hunting for
the jewel, and sending for the police, that I kept as much as
possible away by myself, until later in the day, when the officer from
Frizinghall came to the house.
"Mr. Seegrave began, as you may remember, by setting a guard on the
women's bedrooms; and the women all followed him up-stairs in a rage,
to know what he meant by the insult he had put on them. I went with
the rest, because if I had done anything different from the rest, Mr.
Seegrave was the sort of man who would have suspected me directly. We
found him in Miss Rachel's room. He told us he wouldn't have a lot of
women there; and he pointed to the smear on the painted door, and
said some of our petticoats had done the mischief, and sent us all
down-stairs again.
"After leaving Miss Rachel's room, I stopped a moment on one of the
landings, by myself, to see if I had got the paint-stain by any chance
on MY gown. Penelope Betteredge (the only one of the women with whom I
was on friendly terms) passed, and noticed what I was about.
"'You needn't trouble yourself, Rosanna,' she said. 'The paint on Miss
Rachel's door has been dry for hours. If Mr. Seegrave hadn't set a watch
on our bedrooms, I might have told him as much. I don't know what you
think--I was never so insulted before in my life!' "Penelope was a hot-tempered girl. I quieted her, and brought her back
to what she had said about the paint on the door having been dry for
hours.