“Don’t be,” he said instantly. “I was actually curious but not sure if asking flat-out would be rude.”
Ella lifted a shoulder and took a sip of her juice. “It’s just that even in her death my mom continues to be such an influence and inspiration for me. Even when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she put up such a brave front. She promised she wouldn’t go down without a fight and she didn’t. She beat it at first, and after she’d recovered from the chemo, she went on an awareness mission, putting together the first ever breast-cancer-awareness walk in our neighborhood.”
Felix was looking at her again as he did so often. The same way he’d looked at her that first night he’d walked into her class with Hector, Charlee, and Drew. She’d call it a proud parent look, but there was more behind it. She was caught in his eyes for a moment until he finally said something that broke the spell.
“So your starting the self-defense classes in response to your brother’s girlfriend getting raped was a tribute to your mother.”
It could’ve been a question, but the way he said it Felix sounded as if he knew for a fact that’s exactly why she’d done so. Ella had never thought of it that way. All she knew was at the time she wasn’t just going to sit around and wait for something like that to happen again. Much like her mom hadn’t waited around for gangs or cancer to come and disrupt their lives so easily.
Not without a fight.
“It’s what she would’ve done,” Ella said softly.
Felix slid his hand across the table slowly and touched hers gently. “She’d be proud.”
Under normal circumstances, the fact that his hand was on hers might’ve excited her; instead, she choked up so fast it caught her off guard.
“I’m sorry,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I didn’t mean to—”
“No,” she said, shaking her head and blinking away the tears that had begun to fill her eyes. “It’s just . . .” She smiled again. “Yes, I know she would be.”
Glancing down at his hand still on hers, Ella decided to keep to herself how often she still spoke with her mom and how so many of those conversations lately had been about him. Just thinking of that made her smirk and she felt her face warm. When she looked up at him, he was staring at her again. The alarm she’d seen in his eyes just moments ago when he realized he’d hit a nerve with his comment about her mom, was replaced now with a sort of curious look.
“You do that a lot,” he said.
His hand slid down from over her hand to under it and played with her fingers. Now feeling his touch did what she’d expected it would. Her insides were instantly out of control. Was he really playing with her fingers? A million other questions flashed through her head as she attempted to remain as collected as possible.
“Do what?” she asked very calmly as he continued to gaze at her, but her mind was racing as her heart pounded away, and she was certain he could hear it—everyone in the juice bar probably could. It pounded so hard.
Was he flirting with her? Or was this his way of making up for nearly making her cry? Was this still him just being sweet, or was there more to the way he looked at her as she’d begun to think these past few weeks. But most importantly, what did she do a lot? All this time she’d thought she’d played the calm-and-collected part so well.
“The way you switch moods. What were you thinking just now?” he asked. “When you went from nearly crying to smiling to”—he smiled, and as if her heart wasn’t already out of control, he laced his fingers through hers—“blushing?”
She gulped as once again she was caught in those piercing dark eyes of his. “I, uh . . .” She cleared her throat, determined not to blow this—not to look away. He was just being playful. That’s all this was. “I don’t—”
“Yo, Felix.”
They turned to see a grinning Hector coming their way. Felix didn’t jerk his hand away from hers, but it was obvious he hadn’t wanted Hector to see them holding hands because he slid his hand back to his side of the table. Despite his efforts, Ella was certain Hector had seen them holding hands. It was what made him doing so that much more nerve-wracking. He’d taken her hand in his so candidly right there in the middle of the juice bar for everyone to see.
Ella may have her preconceptions of Felix being a ladies’ man—a flirt. But from what she’d seen so far, he hadn’t behaved that way. Since he’d started his daily pre-training here at 5th Street, she’d never seen him flirt or even engage in conversation with any other girls as much as he did with her. It was what made his seeking her out today and being annoyed that he could’ve spent more time with her dangerously thrilling. She was still refusing to jump to any ridiculous assumptions.
“What are you doing?” Hector asked as he neared them. “Noah’s been looking for you.”
Ella watched as the same irritation she’d seen earlier on his face bathed over Felix once again. “I was having some juice. Tell him I’ll be in there in a minute.”
Hector grinned as he said hello to Ella then turned back to Felix. “Yeah, I’ll let him know.”
Ella glanced down at her phone and saw that it was just fifteen minutes until her class started. “I gotta go anyway. My class starts in fifteen minutes.”
She stood up. The continued annoyance on Felix’s face about the interruption as he stood up with her was somehow even more thrilling now. Ella needed to get out of there fast. Having a moment in one of the stalls in the ladies’ room where she could finally hyperventilate, like she thought she might for a moment there, couldn’t come fast enough.