Wiping the stupid tears from her eyes because they’d blurred her vision, she was determined to look through every last goddamned photo of him and this girl. As much as it hurt, her delusional heart needed this. Furious with herself now, she clicked on every picture, staring at them even as she swatted tears away. Of course, Nellie had been completely taken by him. The man was beautiful and he said she was beautiful. But the worst thing was that she was actually beginning to believe him. Of course, he’d be into fitness models. Why would he settle for anything less? His body was perfection, and he may be the next heavyweight champ. So it made perfect sense that he’d seek out perfection, not some older divorcee whose husband had left her for her own damn sister!
“No!” she stood up with a sudden conviction, her eyes still stuck to the photo of Abel and Rachel embracing yet again as they reached the entrance of 5th Street. “I am not just a divorcee, and I may not be a fitness model, but I can hold my own!”
Sam was very good looking, and she could admit it now without feeling the ridiculous guilt she’d felt last night when she couldn’t bring herself to use the word to describe his eyes—they were beautiful. And he seemed to have taken a liking to her immediately. In fact, he’d flirted with her outrageously the entire night and then said he’d really hoped to see her again before he left town—tonight.
Picking up her phone, she ignored her shaking hand as she scrolled through her texts. She slammed her laptop closed and started to her room just as she found the text from Sam that morning. Without another thought, because she knew if she even hesitated that she might change her mind, she responded.
Sorry I slept in. Just now saw this. Does the offer to get together for brunch still stand?
Her phone beeped before it even hit her bed where she’d tossed it. Infuriatingly, the tears were still coming, and she continued to swat them away as she picked up the phone.
Of course! I was still holding out hope that I’d hear from you and hadn’t made plans. You feel like Mexican brunch? The place I mentioned came highly recommended, and I was told I HAD to try before I leave Cali. It’s a couple of hours away in La Jolla. I’m told it’s absolutely worth the drive. But you’d be looking at spending most your day with me. Not sure if you’re up for that just yet. ;)
Still struggling with the pain of those photos that were now burned in her memory, she swatted more tears away. But they were angry tears now. She just wasn’t sure who she was angrier at: Abel for being so good and making her feel so damn special or herself for falling for it so hard. Using the very words she once used on Abel, she responded.
I’m game if you’re game. Just give me about thirty minutes to get ready.
Sam told her to just text him her address when she was ready. Nellie knew she’d regret agreeing to do this, and she did almost immediately. What the hell was she thinking? An entire day with this guy? She hardly knew him! But the thought of Abel and his fitness model bitch had her looking for her most provocative outfit that was appropriate for a brunch.
Maybe she wasn’t fitness model material or worthy of having such an amazing guy all to herself. While Abel may be outstanding at a lot of things, he couldn’t possibly be this good of an actor. She did have it in her to turn on even an incredible guy like him. Of that she was positive. There were some things a man couldn’t fake. And as much as it hurt how quickly he’d run into another woman’s arms even after the amazing night and morning they’d had, a part of her still believed that he thought her beautiful. He’d said it with such sincerity.
She needed this now more than ever—needed to feel sexy, attractive to someone who might not just be saying it out of lust. She was not about to fall back into the dark place that she’d spiraled into with Rick. She refused. She’d come too far and worked too hard for that. Even her therapist had agreed that she was ready to stop her therapy. At the moment, she yearned to speak with her again—needed to be talked off this ledge—but she held her head high and stared in the mirror at the puffy red-eyed women before her. “You got this, babe,” she sniffled. “You’ve been through so much worse.”
But had she really? She’d just established this morning that losing Abel would be a hundred times worse than losing Rick. Hell, who was she kidding? It’d be a million times worse. Then again, this didn’t have to mean that she was losing Abel. This just changed the game back to how she’d originally agreed to play it. She had zero intentions of sleeping with Sam, but agreeing to go on this date with him was part of what she kept insisting she was doing: letting loose.
Taking another much needed hit from her inhaler, she grabbed one of her one-piece office dresses, the kind that Abel had told her more than once drove him nuts. Her mind was made up. “Time to free that spirit, girl,” she muttered as she searched the rest of her closet. “Getting hung up on the first guy you sleep with after your divorce isn’t exactly freeing shit.”
Studying the dress, she chewed her lip, wondering how to sexy-it-up more. She could un-business-it-up by wearing higher heels than normal, and since it was snug but sleeveless, she usually wore a coat over it. Today she had the perfect thing to wear over it instead: a sexy black bolero that she’d been saving for a special occasion.
As brave as she was suddenly feeling, she’d been privy to the Ayala temper in the past, and though he had no right to be a jerk about this, she remembered his reaction to Logan at her office. Things had changed significantly since then. She knew she wasn’t imagining his heightened feelings for her. He just obviously wasn’t interested in anything exclusive. He’d played the territorial card then, and since she hadn’t protested his behavior, she wasn’t sure what he’d do if he was waiting for her when Sam dropped her off. Now that she’d seen those eye-opening pictures, there was no way she’d be keeping her dates from him. She had every right to date whomever she damn well pleased. But she wasn’t looking to make a scene just outside her front door, so she wouldn’t risk it.