Bianca stared at him, her heart speeding up a little. He couldn’t possibly know.
“There’s something I need to tell you. I was gonna wait until tonight but I gotta get if off my chest now.” His nervous eyes went from hers to the ceiling and all around the room until they came back to her, unnerving her even further. “I did go out with Shelley even after I started seeing you.” Bianca pulled back and he tried to take her hand but she pulled it away. “It was way back in the beginning,” he said urgently. “Back before I knew how serious things were gonna get between me and you.”
Bianca thought back to his words ‘way back in the beginning.’ Back when he made her promise she’d wait for him.
“Before you knew? You mean when you told me you were going to be dating me exclusively and so I should promise to do the same?” She stood up from the bed and he stood with her.
It amazed her how if they would’ve been having his discussion just days ago, she might’ve cared more. As angry as she was that he’d lied to her all this time—assured her she had nothing to worry about and that all those stories were just to sell magazines and boost TV ratings—the hypocrisy she felt was just too blatant. Though the anger helped blanket her guilty conscience.
“Listen to me, please.” He reached out for her and she pulled back, glad she had good reason to reject his touch now. “This was in the very beginning, Bianca. I saw her just a few times. It was so insignificant I wouldn’t even be telling you about it now but the damn tabloids are blowing all this up. I didn’t want you to find out that way.”
“So that’s the only reason you’re telling me now? Because you knew I’d find out?”
“Yes and no. I’ll admit it I was a selfish prick, okay? I had a different girl in every city. But that was then. That was before you. You changed everything. I’m begging you—”
“Don’t!” Bianca wouldn’t be able to stand there and listen to him beg for her forgiveness knowing she was just as guilty if not worse.
“I will, Bianca.” He started to get down on his knee.
“Stop that.” She reached out for his hand. “You don’t have to.”
Taking advantage of her outstretched hand, he took it and pulled her to him and spoke so close she thought he might kiss her. “Please forgive me. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll prove I’ve changed—changed because of you. You mean everything to me now. I even told Andy to cancel half the shit he had planned for me in the coming weeks so I could spend less time away from you.”
Bianca couldn’t take it anymore. She was drowning in guilt now. Guilt because here Felix was saying everything she would’ve been thrilled to hear just a few weeks ago, because his surprise arrival this morning should’ve been as exciting as the night he showed up with the mariachis. Instead all she felt now was disappointment. Disappointment that now she’d have less time with Gio.
She pulled away. “I need to think.”
“Think all you want. But please don’t leave.”
Leaving was the last thing she wanted to do. She could hardly stand knowing that Gio was just a few rooms away and she couldn’t run to him like she wanted to. But to be away from him for good with no chance of even seeing him, that thought alone nearly suffocated her.
How had this happened so fast? She still cared about Felix but what she felt for Gio was a whole other monster. She’d never felt anything like it and right now all she wanted to do was get out of there. Run away and try to regain some composure. Her mind was spinning and she could barely think straight anymore. “I gotta go to work.”
“But you’re coming back, right?” He squeezed her hand, his pleading eyes burning into her.
She nodded and he began to hug her but she pushed him away. “Don’t,” she whispered and he lifted his arms away immediately.
“Okay. Just come back… please.”
She grabbed her purse from the nightstand and started to the door. “Bianca.”
Bianca slowed as she reached the doorway then stopped and turned around. “What?”
“I love you.”
After spending a day like yesterday with Gio and feeling something so much more powerful than she’d ever felt for Felix, Bianca couldn’t return the sentiment. She vanquished the idea that what she felt for Gio was love only because it was clear that she’d already been too hasty in her declaration of love to Felix. Something she was now certain was untrue. Deep down she’d always known what she felt for Felix wasn’t that profound feeling she’d read and heard so much about.
She obviously didn’t know much about love. What she did know, without a doubt, was this thing she felt now for Gio was something so incredibly strong that even as wrong as it was, she knew with all certainty that the moment she got the chance she’d be back in his arms.
A strained smile was all that she managed. That and a nod as she turned and walked away.
There was no way she could face Nana and her mother right now. They’d know immediately something was wrong and as close as she was to them she couldn’t tell them about this. Both of them had always been very liberal when it came to Bianca’s personal life. They trusted her and the choices she made.
The only times they ever had serious issues with was anything that compromised her safety. This situation now had dangerous written all over it, but Bianca felt helpless to pull herself out of it. She couldn’t stay away now.