He stood a little too close to her as she unlocked the front door and it unnerved her. She could smell his musky cologne and this close, feel the warmth of his body even though they were still inches away.
“You ever change a baby’s diaper, Roni?”
She glanced at him confused as she pushed the door open. “No.”
“I have.”
“What does that—”
“I helped raise kids for years when I was the oldest one in my foster home and my foster parents weren’t around. Which happened a lot. There were four other kids in the house. One was a baby—eight months old. There were two toddlers and a smart-ass preteen who thought he knew everything and I was left alone with them all the time. I fed them, bathed them, helped them with their homework, and put them in bed at night. Then I made sure they got up in the morning and got to school on time. And they counted on me—me, the fifteen-year old to be the adult. Not their parents who were supposed to be the real adults”
They were in the living room now and Veronica had frozen midway listening to him. She stared at him something huge pressing at her throat, holding her words hostage. Clearing her throat, she finally spoke. “Where were your foster parents?”
He frowned, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and tossing it on the coffee table. “They just weren’t around. My point is at my age I have more experience raising kids or being a father than a lot of thirty-year olds do.”
Veronica gulped, bringing her hand to her neck as if that would pull away the invisible hand that gripped it. “I’m talking about other experiences, Noah. People can become parents at all ages in life. It’s not fair but it’s a fact of life. My mom and my grandparents are perfect examples.”
“Then what are you talking about?” He crossed his arms in front of him and waited for her to answer.
She set her purse down on the sofa and began to peel off the layers she wore starting with her jacket. “I’m just saying people my age are at a different stage of their life.” She thought of Noah and Gio’s cousin. Hit with a sudden hot flash she pressed her lips together. “I’m not looking for young guys that are in no way ready to settle down. And I’d never be selfish enough or naïve enough to think a twenty-year-old is, especially ones with groupies ready to jump at the snap of their fingers.”
“I think I told you how I feel about groupies.”
“Yeah, I remember—they’re hot.”
He peered at her now. “I also said they’re not for me.”
“Oh, yeah? So you’re only into the ones that do drive-bys on holidays?”
She gulped hard trying to hold back the emotion that overwhelmed her now. The conversation had taken a turn and Noah stared at her speechless. The thought of some girl riding him nearly choked her. As long as they were putting it out there she’d tell him exactly why she’d never consider a relationship with an immature man whore. “I need stability, Noah. Someone who’s over the one-night stands and interested in a serious relationship. Someone I can count on.”
“Like Derek you mean? The guy your age, that walked out on you when you needed him most?”
The slap in the face was utterly humiliating. She’d held the tears back long enough. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could do it. Feeling the air sucked out of her, she was sure she might fall apart right then and there so she spun around and took off to her room.
“Roni, I’m sorry.” He called out.
The second she closed the door behind her she locked it then leaned her back against it sliding slowly down until she sat on the floor. She took one long trembling breath, wiping the tears away in anger. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
There was a soft knock at the door. “Roni? You okay?”
She swallowed hard clearing her throat. The last thing she wanted was to let on how miserable she was feeling. “I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I just had a long day. That’s all. We both did. You should go to bed. It’s what I’m gonna do.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
She squeezed her eyes shut; the tears were streaming down even more now and she nodded. “Uh-huh.” As hard as she’d tried her voice cracked and she was sure he’d heard it but he said nothing.
For a few long moments, there was silence then finally she heard his footsteps walk away. There was a bang on the wall across the hall then the sound of his door closing.
As much as she’d like to tell herself these tears were about Derek, they had nothing to do with him and she knew it. The fact that a week from now Noah would be with Gio’s cousin again and she’d have nothing to distract her thoughts about it while he was gone is what really killed her. She already knew it was going to drive her crazy. The worst part was that she’d be there waiting for him when he got home knowing exactly what he’d just done. God, she had to get a life.
CHAPTER 12
The next morning Roni’s bedroom door had been closed when Noah got in the shower but by the time he’d gotten out it was open and she was gone. It was almost as if she’d waited for him to get in the shower to avoid him. But she’d at least thought to leave him a note on the counter.
In case you’re wondering, I’m meeting Nellie for breakfast but I made you coffee. I’ll see you tonight at the gym.
She signed it with a happy face and it seemed cheery enough but Noah had to wonder if she was really over their little exchange last night. He’d felt like such an ass**le afterwards especially when he realized he’d made her cry.