Derek was there in under ten minutes. She practically ran out the door not wanting to give him a chance to get out and expect to be invited in. She leaned in the window of his car and smiled before opening the door.
“Wow, you look good,” he said. “You lost a lot of weight. What did you do?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been working out. I have Nellie to thank. She’s the one that dragged me to the gym.”
Derek looked the same. Clean-shaven but with an edge. Being a dean at one of the toughest high schools in the Los Angeles area had done that to him. He’d told her some of the stories. He’d had to disarm students with knives and even a gun once. The kids had to think of him and see him as a bad ass with no compassion. If he didn’t put up that act he was toast. Veronica had to admit that the tough guy act had turned her on a little. He had it down to a science. The obstinate death stare was the best. It reminded her of her own dean back in high school. He silenced an entire hallway as he walked through it. Now she wondered if he’d been just as soft as Derek but putting up an act, too.
They made small talk until they reached the coffee place by the gallery. It was a miracle he didn’t have to circle the block twenty times before finding a parking space but then it was a holiday week and this was near the court’s district. Most of the offices in this area were still closed down for the holidays.
They bought their coffee and walked half a block down to the gallery. “You really look good, Roni. I’m really glad to see it. I was worried about you.”
Veronica smiled, for some reason unnerved at his use of her nickname. He only ever called her that before when he was being cute. Here it was the first time she’d seen him in almost a year and he felt he could call her that? Deep inside she knew the real reason it bothered her but she shook it off.
“So are you still seeing the woman you met?” Not that she cared but she was curious. She really didn’t think he would’ve been texting her so much if he was.
His expression fell and he cleared his throat as they entered the gallery. “No, I haven’t. Things didn’t work out.”
“Oh,” she said, glad she walked in ahead him so he wouldn’t see the smirk. “I’m sorry to hear that.” Of course she wasn’t but she really didn’t care either way. She just had to admit it was a bit satisfying. “Has it been long?” She turned when he didn’t respond.
“Veronica, I’m sorry. I made a mistake. A huge mistake. Probably the biggest mistake of my life.” They stepped aside out of the walkway where people could pass through. “I didn’t know how else to deal with it. It seemed everything I did or said was the wrong thing. It got to the point where I was afraid to talk to you. At the time it felt like the best thing to do was step back and out of the picture.”
Veronica stared at him for a moment trying to make sense of how anyone could think that the best thing to do when someone you cared about was going through the hardest times in their life was to walk away—step out of the picture? She could think of a million things to tell him right now. How much she had hated him then. How she would’ve never walked away had the tables been turned but she didn’t. That ship had sailed. Instead, she smiled. “It’s okay. I made it.”
His expression remained strained. “I never doubted you would. Listen.” He jammed his hands into his pockets and glanced around nervously. “I know this probably doesn’t matter anymore but I want you to know. Angela… the woman I started seeing during that time. It didn’t even last a month. I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He glanced at her but couldn’t make eye contact for very long. Veronica had never seen him so nervous. “I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to stop by and say hello, see how you were doing. And then I’d lose my nerve. I was so relieved when you texted me back today. I thought for sure you hated me.”
“I don’t hate you, Derek.” Not that she didn’t think she did for a long time. But she knew now that in order for her to hate him she would’ve had to love him first. She wasn’t sure why or how but she was certain now that she never had. “And you can stop beating yourself up about it. I’m fine now. More than fine.”
No longer wanting to stand there and have this uncomfortable conversation Veronica started walking. Derek walked along side her.
The sign outside the gallery boasted the names of the new artists being featured this week. Veronica had never heard of any of them. She used to keep up with all the new talent in the photography world. It was high time she got back to the things she loved.
Derek seemed to pick up on the fact that she didn’t really want to talk about anything heavy so they kept the conversation light. They strolled along the gallery commenting on the different photographs and he asked her about her photography.
They walked around for almost an hour and then the conversation took a turn. “How are things now that… you’re alone?”
Veronica stopped and stared at the black and white photograph of an old woman smoking on a park bench wearing stilettos. “I have a roommate now.”
“You do?”
She studied the picture wondering what to make of it. Did the stilettos represent this woman’s past?
“Roni?”
Her thoughts interrupted she turned back to Derek. “New roommate?”
“Oh, yeah. He’s a kid from the neighborhood. My trainer actually.” She smiled at him. “He’s the one that helped me drop all the weight.” She started walking again. “He had some issues with his place so he’s renting one of the rooms at my house temporarily.”